Beep, Scan, Back Again...

I sure haven't been doing a good blog job lately...sorry folks, sorry self! Life has been more than a roller coaster...No coasting going on here...it's wave, after wave, after wave. Some of these waves have left me waterlogged, gasping for air, wondering if I will ever see dry land again. Even still, I have had victorious Hallelujahs tucked away inside these waves that have kept my arms and legs strong enough to keep going. God really does have me covered! He let's me go out farther than I'd imagined I could and never let's go of me. Although it feels scary, it builds my trust in Him in deeper ways. For example, Jerry and I are teaching Jaeana to swim. Learning to swim is simply overcoming fear and becoming confident. Our methods are forceful yet loving...We push them (our kids) past where they think they can go, past what they think they can handle, but WE know their limits. We are met with screams of "No's" and flailing arms...haha...but in the end...we have made two swimmer boys and one soon to be swimmer girl. (FYI...my kids LOVE the water) Interestingly enough, that is how God is with us...He holds our hands, our underbellies, telling us we can do it, pushing us past where we ourselves think we can go, but like the Strong Mighty Protector and Gentle Loving Father He is, He sees and knows our limits better than we do. We feel a hand letting go and panic, however that hand is 2 inches away ready to grab hold of us, never actually leaving us. You see, we are clouded by our fears, as are my children before learning to swim. All reasoning seems to go out the window...they can't even be calmed by my voice or even trust me, all they see is FEAR. Oh fear is such an awful thing...but we are always faced with a choice....PUSH PAST IT or SUCCUMB TO IT! The very thing we are afraid of is the very thing we have already been doing within our own limits. I asked Jaeana what she was afraid of and she said, "Going under the water." Funny though, because she goes under the water on her own, swimming, kicking, holding her breath. Her limit is where her feet feel they can securely touch the ground. She will only swim in the deep end with a flotation device...funny how she trusts that, but not a more secure Mom or Dad's hand...the same can be said with us and God. On our terms we trust Him, that is until we can't feel our feet on the ground or have something we deem as a trustworthy flotation device...take those away and all of a sudden Daddy's (God's) arms aren't trustworthy enough.

With all God is showing me and doing with me and in me...I must say I feel like I have been stuck going through a metal detector like at the airport...you know how awful those things are...you have to take off your shoes, your accessories, empty your pockets, dump out some of your bags....Oh My! And don't have children or babies because then you will have to take out any baby food, baby medicines, baby drinks, even take off your own baby if you are wearing them in a sling carrier (yes even if they are asleep)...what a nightmare! You go through and then, BEEEEEEEP! Oh my gosh, what else is left to take off??? I am reminded though that this is "The Year Of Release" and in order to experience the promise of release, WE must first release. We must release FROM in order to release INTO! God is having us go through this "detector" that keeps beeping until all those things are off of us. Only then can we walk through with Clearance ready to catch a plane to the next level....OH YEAH BABY! I'll let you know what it's like once I get past this blasted detector...Hahahaha!

Whelp that's all for now folks! Until next time, this has been a blog from My Life Written...(hehe)