Sometimes it seems like I have been talking about the same thing over and over again.When you are facing something, THAT something tends to be your focus. For me the focus has been "The Battle". If we break that down further we see the many parts or lessons being learned.
*Realizing You're in a Battle
*Learning to Live on the Battlefield
*Entering the Enemy's Camps
*Retreating Is Not An Option
*Dwelling in the Caves Means Sleeping in the Caves
*Guarding Your Gates
*Reclaiming Your Territory
There are a wide variety of lessons here all which are preparation for something greater. The end all is we are all in a battle and we better dang well get used to it. Last night another realization or revelation hit me...remember I am still 'fighting' in this battle...God clearly spoke and said, "Don't you see? I have been delivering the enemy into your hands one by one!" Can I just say, OH MY GOSH!!!! Every time I feel like I'm done and can't take anymore, God comes in and shows me something else. He let's me go til I pop, or almost pop, and then He is comes in just in time saying, "Here ya go! Here is another little nugget for you to chew on! Here is another moment to breathe. Here is another reprieve before the next battle". However what I have failed to see was that every encounter with the enemy was really God delivering them into my hands. Here I am complaining because I am still fighting and He is trying to show me HOW I have the Victory in Him! When you are smack in the middle of the battle is when you see yourself for who you really are...WEAK and not so much STRONG. Sure it's easy to be strong and encouraging for someone else in their own battle, but when it's your battle, your fight, your fears, your shortcomings, that's a different story. How Bi-Polar is that? Oh I'm sorry, did you think you were perfect? Maybe you are..or maybe you have never fought in the battle and you can take your "No-It-All" self and go! Go, really...I'm serious...GO! Straight into the battlefield. Stay there for a bit! We will see what you your language sounds like then! Mm hmmmm! Lol!
I have some researching to do now about this new perception of God delivering the enemy into my hand. It's so biblical! It's so right on! I'm excited and thankful for this new found revelation nugget God has given me. I mean, God could have just thrown me into this scenario and left me there to just figure it out on my own and see if I come out alive. Don't tribes do that with the older boys to prove their manhood. If they make it out in the wilderness or mountains or wherever alone then they are truly a man and are welcomed back as having earned their honor. BUT GOD, MY GOD!!!! He said He would never leave me or forsake me. He said He would always be with me. He said He would protect me.He may lead me out to the wilderness, down through the valley, or up into the mountain. I may encounter the enemy, I may learn to walk without fear, I may be stretched to stretchy-stretchyness, but Victory is the end of the Journey. VICTORY, SWEET VICTORY!
I'll be back with more and I'm bringing my bible...so be ready!
Loves and Hugs,
Christina
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
I Slept in the Cave...
Have you ever heard the saying as a child, perhaps included in your night time ritual..."Sleep Tight and Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite!"? I heard this often and yet had never seen a bedbug or knew anyone who did. I didn't even question it. Just thought it to be one of those rhyming sayings. After experiencing Bed Bugs FIRST HAND...I may be coming to greatly appreciate that little prayer and declaration...Maybe as a family we should say it every night! LOL!
But really, how can you avoid letting them bite you? How do you stop a creepy, crawly, disgusting, blood-sucking creature from sneaking into your covers and having a nibble at your warm blood? The saying said..."DON'T LET the Bed Bugs Bite!" Is the answer found in the "Sleep Tight" part? Are you to wear tight clothes, close the blankets around you tightly...none of which would stop a bug who makes its home in cracks and crevices so small you can barely notice they are there, except the remnant they leave behind. What's the answer then? Maybe "Sleeping Tight" means sleeping cautiously, making sure the perimeter around you is up...your Hedge of Protection perhaps? Maybe praying for God to be that protection for you is key! However, whichever method of "tightness" you choose...the end all is you Must Still Sleep.
I think again of David, during the times he had to sleep in the caves. He had to sleep at some point. You cannot successfully guard yourself against the enemy if you are sleep deprived. You will definitely experience sleep deprivation, but again at some point YOU MUST SLEEP!
It's a bit perplexing to think of Sleeping in a time like that...the battle is upon you, the enemy is at your door step, you are so vulnerable to an attack, and you are supposed to sleep??? Who can sleep? Again, YOU MUST SLEEP! So, if you must, then how? Like Nike of course....JUST DO IT! Hahaha! It's called trusting in the Lord...
If this isn't Trust, I don't know what else is. Have you ever played that trust game where you must stand still, close your eyes, and fall into your neighbors hands? Yeah, I never would do it....I do not trust anyone to catch me...I just can't do it. Amazing though, how I am in that situation now, despite my best efforts to avoid it. I MUST TRUST God to safely catch me as I fall into His arms!
Last night I did just that! I fell into the arms of Jesus, as I slept on a real bed instead of the couch. I killed 3 bed bugs beforehand...yet I still slept. Jesus did not fail me...Best sleep I have had in 2 weeks!!!
The battle is not over...but Victory is beginning to brightly shine over the horizon!
Thank You Lord for being My Everything!!!
That's all for now!
Christina
But really, how can you avoid letting them bite you? How do you stop a creepy, crawly, disgusting, blood-sucking creature from sneaking into your covers and having a nibble at your warm blood? The saying said..."DON'T LET the Bed Bugs Bite!" Is the answer found in the "Sleep Tight" part? Are you to wear tight clothes, close the blankets around you tightly...none of which would stop a bug who makes its home in cracks and crevices so small you can barely notice they are there, except the remnant they leave behind. What's the answer then? Maybe "Sleeping Tight" means sleeping cautiously, making sure the perimeter around you is up...your Hedge of Protection perhaps? Maybe praying for God to be that protection for you is key! However, whichever method of "tightness" you choose...the end all is you Must Still Sleep.
I think again of David, during the times he had to sleep in the caves. He had to sleep at some point. You cannot successfully guard yourself against the enemy if you are sleep deprived. You will definitely experience sleep deprivation, but again at some point YOU MUST SLEEP!
It's a bit perplexing to think of Sleeping in a time like that...the battle is upon you, the enemy is at your door step, you are so vulnerable to an attack, and you are supposed to sleep??? Who can sleep? Again, YOU MUST SLEEP! So, if you must, then how? Like Nike of course....JUST DO IT! Hahaha! It's called trusting in the Lord...
If this isn't Trust, I don't know what else is. Have you ever played that trust game where you must stand still, close your eyes, and fall into your neighbors hands? Yeah, I never would do it....I do not trust anyone to catch me...I just can't do it. Amazing though, how I am in that situation now, despite my best efforts to avoid it. I MUST TRUST God to safely catch me as I fall into His arms!
Last night I did just that! I fell into the arms of Jesus, as I slept on a real bed instead of the couch. I killed 3 bed bugs beforehand...yet I still slept. Jesus did not fail me...Best sleep I have had in 2 weeks!!!
The battle is not over...but Victory is beginning to brightly shine over the horizon!
Thank You Lord for being My Everything!!!
That's all for now!
Christina
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Not Paranoid...Sober and Ready!
I have been sitting in the same room for over a week now. Not only sitting, but sleeping as well. After my surgery I made a comfortable spot on the loveseat recliner in the office. It's an open room at the entrance of our house, a sort of formal dining/living room setup turned into an office/lounge area. One end has the office desks while the other end has the bookshelf, couch, instrument corner, and tv. It was a nice change of scenery, helped me recover post surgery (easier than getting up and down from the bed), and has aided in my escape from the bed bugs room, my room to be exact. There has definitely been some reprieve from the last attack. We have taken dominion and are seeing victory, however I am not fully convinced I am safe enough to enter back into that land. We are in need of box springs for our King size matress so we can get our mattress off of the floor. We have the frame and mattress, but that doesn't help me get off the floor. My mattress is safe, THANK GOD! The room seems safe, but I know all too well that just because something "seems" safe does not mean you have been granted immunity. Attacks can still happen.
That's what is funny though! I am realizing how "sober" I have become. It's not paranoia because I am not debilitated by the fear of being attacked. It's more that I am "prepared and ready to fight" incase an attack happens. But wait...this picture sort of looks an awful lot like a person in the midst of war. Soldiers must live this way on the battle field. You are camped out waiting for an attack from the enemy, guarding your post, holding down your territory. Sometimes you march towards the enemy, taking or claiming more ground along the way, sometimes you are sitting still and waiting. Either way, you must at all times be ready for an attack. Hmmm...it's also like Firefighters. They eat, sleep, go grocery shopping, etc. like normal people, but they are always seconds away from hopping into their giant truck in the event of an emergency call. They have their under uniforms on ready to throw on their battle garments over top at the sound of the call. Most of us have seen on tv or in person how quickly a firefighter gets ready when the alarm sounds. They could have just sat down to take a bite of a sandwich when.....RING RING RING RING RING...oh dang, gotta go, 9 seconds, boom, bam, dressed and in the truck!
Call it an ocupational hazard...it comes with the job; eating, show watching, lounging and enjoying a quiet moment, only to be abruptly interrupted with a quick, chaotic, yet structured "time for battle" call. That is a crazy life. I didn't ask to be a firefighter...lol! I thought I was just a girl with a husband, a family, a ministry, a calling....Oh! Yeah! All those things are like a battlefield huh? Haha! Life in itself is constantly a battle. Life throws crap on you, lemons at you, traps you, crushes you, blah, blah, blah...Life is not an Easy Jourmey, but it's an inevitable and inescapable journey...if you are alive that is.
We must learn to walk soberly, awake, ready to fight, ready to jump to the call of battle, ready for when an attack might occur. I am very, let's say observant, now a days. Every time I go to the bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen, walk from room to room, I stop and look at the walls, I check out my surroundings and deem this "moment" safe for me to handle my business and move on to the next task. I have found myself doing this outside my house too. I don't try to or even mean to, but it's become a part of what I do. I'm not paranoid. I'm not afraid. I'm just ready. Like a spy, I am observing what's around me, although I can't always do it at a glance. Sometimes I take my time and look. Every lint, every scratch, every hole, every crack...all could potentially become a threat. Nothing is what it seems. That doesn't provide much security or assurance or comfort...that can definitely lead to paranoia. However, you see, MY GOD! He is my refuge and my fortress. I know that even though I may have to face the giants, face attacks, deal with life, He is always with me. THAT provides my security, assurance, and comfort. He said, "no weapon formed against me would prosper." The weapons get formed, they get thrown even, but He said they wouldn't prosper, so why worry! In order to experience VICTORY you gotta FIGHT! But you can't victoriously fight until you are ready!
I have been venturing into other rooms and stepping away from the spot I have kept. That spot didn't give me any freedom or escape, I was attacked there too. No where is completely safe. I'm learning to be comfortble in God wherever I am, wherever I go, what ever I see. I can't control any of it anyways right! Lol!
I leave you with this:
"...God's strong hand is on you...Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ-eternal and glorious plans they are!-will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does." (1 Peter 5:6-11 MSG)
Loves and Hugs,
Christina
That's what is funny though! I am realizing how "sober" I have become. It's not paranoia because I am not debilitated by the fear of being attacked. It's more that I am "prepared and ready to fight" incase an attack happens. But wait...this picture sort of looks an awful lot like a person in the midst of war. Soldiers must live this way on the battle field. You are camped out waiting for an attack from the enemy, guarding your post, holding down your territory. Sometimes you march towards the enemy, taking or claiming more ground along the way, sometimes you are sitting still and waiting. Either way, you must at all times be ready for an attack. Hmmm...it's also like Firefighters. They eat, sleep, go grocery shopping, etc. like normal people, but they are always seconds away from hopping into their giant truck in the event of an emergency call. They have their under uniforms on ready to throw on their battle garments over top at the sound of the call. Most of us have seen on tv or in person how quickly a firefighter gets ready when the alarm sounds. They could have just sat down to take a bite of a sandwich when.....RING RING RING RING RING...oh dang, gotta go, 9 seconds, boom, bam, dressed and in the truck!
Call it an ocupational hazard...it comes with the job; eating, show watching, lounging and enjoying a quiet moment, only to be abruptly interrupted with a quick, chaotic, yet structured "time for battle" call. That is a crazy life. I didn't ask to be a firefighter...lol! I thought I was just a girl with a husband, a family, a ministry, a calling....Oh! Yeah! All those things are like a battlefield huh? Haha! Life in itself is constantly a battle. Life throws crap on you, lemons at you, traps you, crushes you, blah, blah, blah...Life is not an Easy Jourmey, but it's an inevitable and inescapable journey...if you are alive that is.
We must learn to walk soberly, awake, ready to fight, ready to jump to the call of battle, ready for when an attack might occur. I am very, let's say observant, now a days. Every time I go to the bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen, walk from room to room, I stop and look at the walls, I check out my surroundings and deem this "moment" safe for me to handle my business and move on to the next task. I have found myself doing this outside my house too. I don't try to or even mean to, but it's become a part of what I do. I'm not paranoid. I'm not afraid. I'm just ready. Like a spy, I am observing what's around me, although I can't always do it at a glance. Sometimes I take my time and look. Every lint, every scratch, every hole, every crack...all could potentially become a threat. Nothing is what it seems. That doesn't provide much security or assurance or comfort...that can definitely lead to paranoia. However, you see, MY GOD! He is my refuge and my fortress. I know that even though I may have to face the giants, face attacks, deal with life, He is always with me. THAT provides my security, assurance, and comfort. He said, "no weapon formed against me would prosper." The weapons get formed, they get thrown even, but He said they wouldn't prosper, so why worry! In order to experience VICTORY you gotta FIGHT! But you can't victoriously fight until you are ready!
I have been venturing into other rooms and stepping away from the spot I have kept. That spot didn't give me any freedom or escape, I was attacked there too. No where is completely safe. I'm learning to be comfortble in God wherever I am, wherever I go, what ever I see. I can't control any of it anyways right! Lol!
I leave you with this:
"...God's strong hand is on you...Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ-eternal and glorious plans they are!-will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does." (1 Peter 5:6-11 MSG)
Loves and Hugs,
Christina
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
All in the Worship!
The Power of Worship can change the very smell in the air you are breathing. It has the power to break down strongholds and the power to lift you up out of the darkness. When you enter into worship your very being is changed. While I was sitting and getting some work done today, I suddenly realized how quiet it was. I felt at that moment I needed to make it, well, un-quiet, and decided to turn on the good old Pandora Mix. Instantly I was filled with a joyous warmth. It penetrated right to my heart. I wasn't looking for it, I wasn't asking for it, I wasn't thinking about feeling joy or warmth...lol! The moment, and I say that literally, the MOMENT the music started I felt like this. It was rather crazy, but made me even more excited in a happy way. I began to think about the power of worship in one's life. Why don't we wield this weapon more often? I know it's there...it just seems that when your day is going a different direction than you had hoped, turning on some worship music and allowing it to penetrate your heart is not often the first thing on the To-Do List.
My day today was nothing more than ordinary, I wasn't feeling up or down, I wasn't deep in thought over the happenings in life, I was merely sitting and getting some work done on the computer. I was OPEN and RECEPTIVE without trying and so I was AVAILABLE for the Holy Spirit to move in me. In times of craziness I most definitely am not this quick to feel all better. I usually have to cry it out or sit deep in thought trying not to be consumed by the thoughts. I must admit, this instantaneous joy felt really good. As I think about it now, after the fact, I can't help but still smile. It was a good feeling and I am appreciative for it. I will hold on to it for awhile, because often, in my experiences in life, just as quick as that feeling can come in, it can leave even faster.
Regardless of what's going on throughout your day, whether you are simply "getting work done" or fighting the craziness of life, STOP and make time for Worship. Stop and open up and be receptive to God moving in you. Stop and allow the worship to seep in so it will pour out. STOP, and WORSHIP!!! And let God FILL YOU UP!Loves and Hugs,
Christina
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A Tale of Three Kings...
To set it up for you, the book focuses on 3 men in the bible; Saul, David, and Absalom. This particular part takes place during the time while Saul was King and David had to flee from the kingdom into the caves to hide from Saul. This was a pivotal, challenging, and desperate time in his life. He could have easily given up, thrown in the towel, and just quit, leaving behind the destiny he didn't even realize he would soon walk into.
"Caves are not the ideal place for morale building. There is a certain sameness to them all, no matter how many you have lived in. Dark. Wet. Cold. Stale. A cave becomes even worse when you are its sole inhabitant...and in the distance you can hear the dogs baying.
But sometimes, when the dogs and hunters were not near, the hunted sang. He started low, then lifted his voice and sang the song the little lamb had taught him. The cavern walls echoed each note just as the mountains had once done. The music rolled down into deep cavern darkness that soon became an echoing choir singing back to him.
He had less now than when he was a shepherd, for now he had no lyre, no sun, not even the company of sheep. The memories of the court had faded. David's greatest ambition now reached no higher than a shepherd's staff. EVERYTHING was being crushed out of him.
He sang a great deal.
And matched each note with a tear.
How strange, is it not, what suffering begets?
There in those caves, drowned in the sorrow of his song and in the song of his sorrow, David became the greatest hymn writer and the greatest comforter of broken hearts this world shall ever know."
This really moved me! How many of you have experienced Cave Dwelling? How many are dwelling in the Caverns now? Whatever you are facing, be it mountains, storms, valleys, wildernesses, or caverns, remember what suffering begets! God always has a plan. For David, God was humbling him, strengthening him, birthing wisdom within him, all through his sufferings, turning him into a mighty king. A king who established Worship in the Tabernacle, a king and a man after God's own heart. Suffering, if you allow it to have it's work, can and will beget a person who is close to God's very heart and produce within you the greatness you were always destined to walk in.
That's all for now! FYI, feel free to post any thoughts or comments or adds to any of my blog posts. I read every one and would love to hear from YOU!
Until next time,
Christina
www.amazon.com
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Just Keep Swimming....
Oh my goodness! After all that dominion taking, after all the victory had, after all the pep talking, I couldn't even get through the night without a hostile takeover attempt. I mean, all I needed was some sleep, but apparently that was asking way too much. I was up until 5am battling more bed bugs. I was trying to go to sleep on my little recliner loveseat, I kept feeling tickles and was slightly paranoid, I got up to get some socks out of my room and use the restroom when I saw a little army of bed bugs fleeing in bathroom, on the wall, on the baseboard, the door frame, behind the toilet, near the bed....WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!! I cried! After all my strength talk, I just caved in and cried...I was done! I was DONE! I can't do this anymore! Aaaaahhhhhhh! My mom came to my rescue, thankfully, with comfort and the word...she reminded me of what we had just been speaking, she prayed with me, and let me cry on her shoulder. Hubby wanted sleep and did not care about bugs at that present moment (sometimes I wish I could be brave and fearless and careless like that). I have never felt so alone and abandoned. It wasn't Jerry though, God was trying to get me to see something. Usually this involves me feeling alone...(chuckle-smirk).
It was a keep-happening kind of night. These dang creatures weren't letting up and I was ready to call the owner, tell him to let us out of this lease, I quit, I don't know where we will go, the kids will have a hard time in school, ugh...those other thoughts came flooding in just as quick...the ones that did not involve my retreating escape to safety. I felt no more safety, I didn't know where to sit let alone sleep. I just wanted to run away! "Someone save me please..." those were my desperate yelps and pleas! Was anyone even listening? Did God even want to protect me? Were the angels even doing their job? Was I doing something wrong? WHY?!?!?!
Feeling like David again with the back and forth emotions...I bravely sat back on my couch, determined not to sleep since it was time to get up in an hour, I was going to devise a plan to present my hubby with when he woke up after sharing ever so gently my horrific wee morning hours of attack and abandonment...I did fall asleep for an hour though.
I don't find this funny, but after working past the initial emotional outburst of a response, I could see what God was trying to show me. I needed to see HIM. I allowed myself to be convinced I was completely abandoned, which was not true. God never left me and my mom was right there by my side. Even in Jerry's sleep, he was there, showing me how to ignore the enemy's weak attempts to overtake us. I felt left though! I thought, "What happened to the victory You promised me Lord?" Now it's never good when you begin to question God in your life. I know Him better than that, but the mind and emotions are a powerful enemy against all reason. Regardless of how powerful of a hold these emotions have on me, I cannot remain in that place...that place equals death! If I stay there I will die. I have been there before and I almost did die. I will not choose that path ever again..I choose JESUS CHRIST!
I was reading some scriptures on the way to church this morning and God promises to keep me safe, give me peace, and protect me at night so I do not have to be afraid. I still must "go through", I still must "suffer" some things, but if I keep my focus on HIM than everything else becomes so insignificant. The GIANTS in the land, otherwise known as the bedbugs, are not as strong against me because GOD is on my side and He fights my battles, and He has already won the victory...all I have to do is keep walking forward.
The Israelites were afraid to go in the new land because of the giants, even though they knew God had already given them victory. Their fear kept them from the promise...I will not be kept back from receiving what God has for me....I want release so I will fight for it. The day feels better than the night...but I can no longer walk in fear...I must only walk in HIM....
Will you walk in Him with me? I'm sure there are some giants you may be facing right now...let me tell you, you are NOT alone...I'm here! We will fight together! God made us strong in the power of His might, so we go forward, ready to fight!
Until next time,
Christina
"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation." (Psalm 91:1-16 KJV)
It was a keep-happening kind of night. These dang creatures weren't letting up and I was ready to call the owner, tell him to let us out of this lease, I quit, I don't know where we will go, the kids will have a hard time in school, ugh...those other thoughts came flooding in just as quick...the ones that did not involve my retreating escape to safety. I felt no more safety, I didn't know where to sit let alone sleep. I just wanted to run away! "Someone save me please..." those were my desperate yelps and pleas! Was anyone even listening? Did God even want to protect me? Were the angels even doing their job? Was I doing something wrong? WHY?!?!?!
Feeling like David again with the back and forth emotions...I bravely sat back on my couch, determined not to sleep since it was time to get up in an hour, I was going to devise a plan to present my hubby with when he woke up after sharing ever so gently my horrific wee morning hours of attack and abandonment...I did fall asleep for an hour though.
I don't find this funny, but after working past the initial emotional outburst of a response, I could see what God was trying to show me. I needed to see HIM. I allowed myself to be convinced I was completely abandoned, which was not true. God never left me and my mom was right there by my side. Even in Jerry's sleep, he was there, showing me how to ignore the enemy's weak attempts to overtake us. I felt left though! I thought, "What happened to the victory You promised me Lord?" Now it's never good when you begin to question God in your life. I know Him better than that, but the mind and emotions are a powerful enemy against all reason. Regardless of how powerful of a hold these emotions have on me, I cannot remain in that place...that place equals death! If I stay there I will die. I have been there before and I almost did die. I will not choose that path ever again..I choose JESUS CHRIST!
I was reading some scriptures on the way to church this morning and God promises to keep me safe, give me peace, and protect me at night so I do not have to be afraid. I still must "go through", I still must "suffer" some things, but if I keep my focus on HIM than everything else becomes so insignificant. The GIANTS in the land, otherwise known as the bedbugs, are not as strong against me because GOD is on my side and He fights my battles, and He has already won the victory...all I have to do is keep walking forward.
The Israelites were afraid to go in the new land because of the giants, even though they knew God had already given them victory. Their fear kept them from the promise...I will not be kept back from receiving what God has for me....I want release so I will fight for it. The day feels better than the night...but I can no longer walk in fear...I must only walk in HIM....
Will you walk in Him with me? I'm sure there are some giants you may be facing right now...let me tell you, you are NOT alone...I'm here! We will fight together! God made us strong in the power of His might, so we go forward, ready to fight!
Until next time,
Christina
"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation." (Psalm 91:1-16 KJV)
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Taking Dominion...
The Battle can only be Won, if you yourself begin to TAKE DOMIONION! To have dominion means having authority and control over a territory. God gave man dominion over the earth and everything in it when He created them.
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." (Genesis 1:26-28 KJV)
When man fell, Satan took the "lease" so to speak, the illegal authority over the earth and everything in it. He held the keys, which were first given to us. It's like man fell away from God through sin, were cast out of the garden of Eden, and left the keys there. Naturally Satan, helped himself to those keys and for generations we fought to get them back. [Enters in Jesus] Who comes to take back those keys. He goes before us, dies for us, regains the lease for us, and now we are fighting to WAKE UP and realize the truth and be set free from the bondage of sin, by accepting that Truth...the truth that Jesus Christ, the living Son of God, God made flesh, died for our sins so we could live, was buried, but rose again the third day, having taken back the keys, the lease from Satan, restoring man back to God's original intent, that through HIM, we would be made free and whole and one with God, joint-heir with Christ, cleansed, purified, set free, given back that dominion that was always ours, but stolen! You know, just THAT simple truth. It's like....STOP! hammer time! Hahaha....Just Kidding..it's like the Matrix...we need to awaken to the truth...WE HAVE DOMINION!!! We have control over this territory through the power and blood of Christ! Why are we not walking in it?
We have been fighting in our house against the attacks of creatures, mainly bedbugs, for a month now. We are still fighting. This is not our first fight though. We dealt with these suckers before and conquered them. But you see, the battle was much smaller then. The battle is different now, we have gone higher up the mountain...the higher you go, the farther you go, the deeper you go, the more the enemy attacks. If he can get you to Give Up, then he will overtake you. If he can get you to Retreat, then he will overtake you. If he can get you to Quit....follow where I'm going. We have a tendency to RETREAT when we feel we have been invaded. We retreat, leaving one area and going to focus on another area we have. However, what we have failed to realize is that now we are backed against the corner and all of our territory has been taken. What we got, is all that's left. If we relinquish control over this area, than basically...WE DIE!
I'm not ready to go out like that. I will not sit back and just die! Hell No! Literally, speaking against Hell and all it's enemy...NO! You do not have dominion enemy!!!...nothing was given to you!!!...IM TAKING BACK WHAT'S MINE!!!
I start singing...
We're marching and moving onward and upward
The Kingdom of God is at a forceful advance
We're taking dominion over the darkness
Tearing down the works of the enemy's camps
These blood sucking bugs, have tried to "steal" from us what God put into our hands - Our Home! No more! I have wanted to Retreat! I just want to feel safe and if this place wasn't going to make me feel safe, then I don't want to be here. But you see, feeling safe, often means feeling comfortable. God sure hasn't called us to a life of comfort. He said He would give us Peace, Rest, Joy, etc, but those words mean something different in Him than they do to us in the world. We find those things IN HIM, FOCUSED ON HIM, LIVING, MOVING, BREATHING, IN HIM...not in the things of this world.
So our first step of taking dominion was Powdering the room with Poision (super safe for kids, people, animals, etc, food grade stuff). We powdered the whole room and let it sit. The "enemy" tried to move out into other places in the house, making us feel unsafe in our own home. Where were they coming from, how did they get there, how do we kill them. We began to feel as if our efforts were of no use. All lies of the enemy. He wants us to give in. But we stand our ground! We will not give up our territory. We will wipe these suckers out!!!
Today, we cleaned and painted the room. When you TAKE DOMINION, you are taking OWNERSHIP over something. After God gave man dominion, He gave man purpose. "Be fruitful and multiply, dress the garden, name the animals, etc." All these things represent an OWNERSHIP of the Territory. When you choose to paint your home, you are taking ownership of it, making it yours, adding YOUR character, YOUR touches, a piece of YOU goes into the home. OWNERSHIP! It's not just the place you sleep, but it's now an expression of who you are. YOUR work put into it. We TOOK DOMINION over a dirty white, hostile bug, taken over room, and painted it shades of beautiful grays and fresh white. We gave it character. After it dries, we will hang up artwork, bring back in the clothes, the bookshelf with books, the toys...we are DRESSING our garden! We are taking OWNERSHIP, we are TAKING DOMINION!!!
Singing the rest of the song:
We have the Victory
We have the Victory
We have the Victory
By the Blood of the Lamb!!!!
The fight isn't over yet, but we are now taking back ALL our territory...it starts with the room, but soon we will have regained our ground. You must fight, you must stand, you must not give in, in order to regain what the enemy has taken.
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed. And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions: (Joel 2:25-28 KJV)
Not only are we being restored...but God has something more for us...He promises to come..He will pour out His Spirit upon us...and then the fun begins....
I have more revelation on this, but thats all for now...please stay tuned cause it's far from done! But oh, has VICTORY been declared today!!!
Loves and Hugs Friends,
Christina
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." (Genesis 1:26-28 KJV)
When man fell, Satan took the "lease" so to speak, the illegal authority over the earth and everything in it. He held the keys, which were first given to us. It's like man fell away from God through sin, were cast out of the garden of Eden, and left the keys there. Naturally Satan, helped himself to those keys and for generations we fought to get them back. [Enters in Jesus] Who comes to take back those keys. He goes before us, dies for us, regains the lease for us, and now we are fighting to WAKE UP and realize the truth and be set free from the bondage of sin, by accepting that Truth...the truth that Jesus Christ, the living Son of God, God made flesh, died for our sins so we could live, was buried, but rose again the third day, having taken back the keys, the lease from Satan, restoring man back to God's original intent, that through HIM, we would be made free and whole and one with God, joint-heir with Christ, cleansed, purified, set free, given back that dominion that was always ours, but stolen! You know, just THAT simple truth. It's like....STOP! hammer time! Hahaha....Just Kidding..it's like the Matrix...we need to awaken to the truth...WE HAVE DOMINION!!! We have control over this territory through the power and blood of Christ! Why are we not walking in it?
We have been fighting in our house against the attacks of creatures, mainly bedbugs, for a month now. We are still fighting. This is not our first fight though. We dealt with these suckers before and conquered them. But you see, the battle was much smaller then. The battle is different now, we have gone higher up the mountain...the higher you go, the farther you go, the deeper you go, the more the enemy attacks. If he can get you to Give Up, then he will overtake you. If he can get you to Retreat, then he will overtake you. If he can get you to Quit....follow where I'm going. We have a tendency to RETREAT when we feel we have been invaded. We retreat, leaving one area and going to focus on another area we have. However, what we have failed to realize is that now we are backed against the corner and all of our territory has been taken. What we got, is all that's left. If we relinquish control over this area, than basically...WE DIE!
I'm not ready to go out like that. I will not sit back and just die! Hell No! Literally, speaking against Hell and all it's enemy...NO! You do not have dominion enemy!!!...nothing was given to you!!!...IM TAKING BACK WHAT'S MINE!!!
I start singing...
We're marching and moving onward and upward
The Kingdom of God is at a forceful advance
We're taking dominion over the darkness
Tearing down the works of the enemy's camps
These blood sucking bugs, have tried to "steal" from us what God put into our hands - Our Home! No more! I have wanted to Retreat! I just want to feel safe and if this place wasn't going to make me feel safe, then I don't want to be here. But you see, feeling safe, often means feeling comfortable. God sure hasn't called us to a life of comfort. He said He would give us Peace, Rest, Joy, etc, but those words mean something different in Him than they do to us in the world. We find those things IN HIM, FOCUSED ON HIM, LIVING, MOVING, BREATHING, IN HIM...not in the things of this world.
So our first step of taking dominion was Powdering the room with Poision (super safe for kids, people, animals, etc, food grade stuff). We powdered the whole room and let it sit. The "enemy" tried to move out into other places in the house, making us feel unsafe in our own home. Where were they coming from, how did they get there, how do we kill them. We began to feel as if our efforts were of no use. All lies of the enemy. He wants us to give in. But we stand our ground! We will not give up our territory. We will wipe these suckers out!!!
Today, we cleaned and painted the room. When you TAKE DOMINION, you are taking OWNERSHIP over something. After God gave man dominion, He gave man purpose. "Be fruitful and multiply, dress the garden, name the animals, etc." All these things represent an OWNERSHIP of the Territory. When you choose to paint your home, you are taking ownership of it, making it yours, adding YOUR character, YOUR touches, a piece of YOU goes into the home. OWNERSHIP! It's not just the place you sleep, but it's now an expression of who you are. YOUR work put into it. We TOOK DOMINION over a dirty white, hostile bug, taken over room, and painted it shades of beautiful grays and fresh white. We gave it character. After it dries, we will hang up artwork, bring back in the clothes, the bookshelf with books, the toys...we are DRESSING our garden! We are taking OWNERSHIP, we are TAKING DOMINION!!!
Singing the rest of the song:
We have the Victory
We have the Victory
We have the Victory
By the Blood of the Lamb!!!!
The fight isn't over yet, but we are now taking back ALL our territory...it starts with the room, but soon we will have regained our ground. You must fight, you must stand, you must not give in, in order to regain what the enemy has taken.
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed. And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions: (Joel 2:25-28 KJV)
Not only are we being restored...but God has something more for us...He promises to come..He will pour out His Spirit upon us...and then the fun begins....
I have more revelation on this, but thats all for now...please stay tuned cause it's far from done! But oh, has VICTORY been declared today!!!
Loves and Hugs Friends,
Christina
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Dealing with Healing...
I am such a wimp when it comes to pain...I cried (a couple tears) today as my hubby made me brave taking off the ace bandage wrap. I wasn't ready to part with it! I wasn't ready to let go, well have it let go of me that is! The release of pressure never feels good, the thought of the gauze wrapping being stuck to any incision mark, ahhhhh! I wanna cry again thinking about it. Ok, Ok, it wasn't that awful...can I blame the drugs again? Lol! It stings off and on, it is still numb around the leg, but it looks good so far. I have an "X" marks the spot suture tape where they inserted the catheter. The "YES" they had me write on my leg is still visible as well as the marker map line they made to show the path of the Saphenal vein. I am sitting here for a little while before I put on my compression stockings, which I am sure will be a super duper fun task! Yay! (picture my sarcastic smile)
As promised I am posting pics. Please be warned...there may be a leg in the picture. Do not be offended, if you are afraid of legs than please turn away! Hahaha! Okie dokie then.
I am curious to see how I will feel over the next couple days. I will be doing this again on the right leg in about a month. I go in for an Ultra Sound tomorrow to check for any blood clots, then for my Post-Op appointment on Tuesday where I will probably be scheduling the next leg. I survived!!! Wooohoooo! Now to get on my extremely tight Compression Stockings without hurting myself....good times!
Toodles,
Christina
As promised I am posting pics. Please be warned...there may be a leg in the picture. Do not be offended, if you are afraid of legs than please turn away! Hahaha! Okie dokie then.
Here I am sitting and waiting in the Pre-Op Area with my IV loading me up
with Very Berry Refreshers...just kidding! :)
I was getting all fluidededed up!
I was very tired and slightly anxious, but hubby kept me smiling!
Next Up is the Wrapped Leg...The Pic is a bit dark...sorry! :)
And Lastly, is my leg after taking the bandages off!
Not too scary just numb and tingly.
The line is marker, the swelling is from the bandage bunching,
and you may or may not be able to see the tiny holes
where the numbing needle poked me along the beautiful purple trail!
Toodles,
Christina
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Today is the Day!
Today was the BIG Day! Today was my surgery day! I had a Greater Saphenal VNUS Ablation Closure Procedure (to be specific) on my Left leg. I have struggled with Varicose Veins since having my 3 monkeys and it turned into Veinous Reflux. Basically my veins are no longer working correctly to pump the blood back up, causing pain, swelling, fatigue, bulging and unsightly veins to appear on my legs. I'm so young to be dealing with this issue. Most people are much older when having this procedure done. However, seeing that I started my journey with kiddo's on the..um...younger side...hehehe...my body has definitely experienced quite a bit. I am just so thankful that this was something insurance covers and relief from many symptoms is just within grasp as soon as I heal up. It's an Outpatient Procedure, but they do put you under General Anesthesia. I won't bore you with the details of the day though. I wanted to take a picture of my beautifully wrapped leg, but it's dark in this room and I'm not getting up to turn on the light...maybe tomorrow I'll take one before I take the wrap off. It's like an Ace Bandage Cast from my foot to the top of my thigh...my whole leg! Fun stuff!
I have never broken anything and have never had an opportunity to wear a cast. When I was a kid I so badly wanted to break something so I could have a cast that all my friends could sign, get attention, you know! Who wishes for that??? Me, that's who! I'm not gonna lie, I kind of wanted to go to band rehearsal tonight with my Ace Bandage Cast for the experience of the attention...let's call that the Vicodin talking! Hahaha! On the couch has been my home since I returned home. It's a bit boring! My leg is partially numb and I had the worst itch on a numb part and right where they inserted the catheter. Oh....so yeah they insert a catheter from just under my knee area, through the Saphenal vein, to the top of my thigh, heat it up and pull out the catheter, closing the vein wall. Much better process than the old method of Vein Stripping, less invasive, faster recovery, less pain...I'll take anything where the words pain and less are friends. :)
My wonderful Mom is taking care of me, yelling at me as I keep attempting to get up and help myself, and just being the Bestest Mommy Ever! Jerry is at rehearsal with the kiddo's and at this point should be coming home soon. It's times like these (being high on Vicodin) that I just so appreciate and love my family! My love is intensified right now...my emotions are in the clouds...I'm praying, singing in my head, smiling, and just feeling so good, that is until the meds wear off and it's time for more....lol! No it's actually not too bad at all pain wise. Thank You Jesus! I really am appreciative of my family. My kids were super helpful and trying to take care of me. My middle child Camron made me a delicious sandwich, served me an ice cold drink in my special cup, and they all kept asking if I need anything...hmmmm, maybe I should milk this longer...hahaha! Nope there is too much to do to milk anything! Gotta heal up and keep going and then do this all over again on the Right Leg in about a month. They wanted to do one leg at a time, which at first I wasn't happy about, but now realizing the limited mobility I have had today, one leg is perfect!
I swear I think I'm super woman sometimes...I'm not by the way! Well, at least not today...check back with me in a few days though! Ha! I'm reminded today of how much I am loved by my family, how much I truly am "kept" by God, how much my life is worth...oh yes, how much my life is worth. I'm a person of purpose. I have a purpose I must fulfill. I am called to fulfill this and so I must push past EVERY obstacle that stands before me! I must go forward at all times. I must pursue fervently the end of the race, the prize for the high calling of Christ. I must, so that He can through me accomplish His Kingdom work!
YOU are called too! If you are reading this than know that YOU have a purpose! Know that YOU are called to achieve great things for the Kingdom of God. I don't care what your life looks like, if you harken unto the voice of the Father, call upon His name, He will answer you, and show you great and mighty mysteries, things you don't know. He will reveal to you Your purpose. He will lead you on the right path He has set before you. He will guide you every step of the way. All you gotta do is trust Him, listen to Him, follow Him, and GO!
Ok, that's all for tonight!
Be blessed and empowered today!
Loves and Hugs,
Christina
I have never broken anything and have never had an opportunity to wear a cast. When I was a kid I so badly wanted to break something so I could have a cast that all my friends could sign, get attention, you know! Who wishes for that??? Me, that's who! I'm not gonna lie, I kind of wanted to go to band rehearsal tonight with my Ace Bandage Cast for the experience of the attention...let's call that the Vicodin talking! Hahaha! On the couch has been my home since I returned home. It's a bit boring! My leg is partially numb and I had the worst itch on a numb part and right where they inserted the catheter. Oh....so yeah they insert a catheter from just under my knee area, through the Saphenal vein, to the top of my thigh, heat it up and pull out the catheter, closing the vein wall. Much better process than the old method of Vein Stripping, less invasive, faster recovery, less pain...I'll take anything where the words pain and less are friends. :)
My wonderful Mom is taking care of me, yelling at me as I keep attempting to get up and help myself, and just being the Bestest Mommy Ever! Jerry is at rehearsal with the kiddo's and at this point should be coming home soon. It's times like these (being high on Vicodin) that I just so appreciate and love my family! My love is intensified right now...my emotions are in the clouds...I'm praying, singing in my head, smiling, and just feeling so good, that is until the meds wear off and it's time for more....lol! No it's actually not too bad at all pain wise. Thank You Jesus! I really am appreciative of my family. My kids were super helpful and trying to take care of me. My middle child Camron made me a delicious sandwich, served me an ice cold drink in my special cup, and they all kept asking if I need anything...hmmmm, maybe I should milk this longer...hahaha! Nope there is too much to do to milk anything! Gotta heal up and keep going and then do this all over again on the Right Leg in about a month. They wanted to do one leg at a time, which at first I wasn't happy about, but now realizing the limited mobility I have had today, one leg is perfect!
I swear I think I'm super woman sometimes...I'm not by the way! Well, at least not today...check back with me in a few days though! Ha! I'm reminded today of how much I am loved by my family, how much I truly am "kept" by God, how much my life is worth...oh yes, how much my life is worth. I'm a person of purpose. I have a purpose I must fulfill. I am called to fulfill this and so I must push past EVERY obstacle that stands before me! I must go forward at all times. I must pursue fervently the end of the race, the prize for the high calling of Christ. I must, so that He can through me accomplish His Kingdom work!
YOU are called too! If you are reading this than know that YOU have a purpose! Know that YOU are called to achieve great things for the Kingdom of God. I don't care what your life looks like, if you harken unto the voice of the Father, call upon His name, He will answer you, and show you great and mighty mysteries, things you don't know. He will reveal to you Your purpose. He will lead you on the right path He has set before you. He will guide you every step of the way. All you gotta do is trust Him, listen to Him, follow Him, and GO!
Ok, that's all for tonight!
Be blessed and empowered today!
Loves and Hugs,
Christina
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Oh Happy Day!
Listening to Worship Music, singing away (not belting out any notes this time though...lol), cleaning, snacking, smiling...I feel about as happy as the day when cool weather embraces me ever so sweetly..the day when I can proudly bust out my furry boots...just happy! I'm only happy because I got in my groove and didn't allow mini frustrations or hormonal emotions overtake me. My Pandora Playlist is on point today and I just made myself a delicious iced chai tea with a little agave and a splash of Almond Milk. I think it might be Picture Day again....me and my kiddo's have lost our minds, but as long as we are having fun...who cares! Haha! I sure hope everyone is having a fabulous day! Why shouldn't you be? This is the day THE LORD HAS MADE...He made it! So we must rejoice and be glad in it! If your day isn't so happy yet, I suggest putting on some Pandora. My fav station is: Kim Walker-Smith because it grabs a great diversity of songs with so many great artists. Find your fav station or play your iPod or play something that will encourage and uplift you. Try visiting the "Church of the Pavement!" You know when you blast your music in the car and sing like no one can see or hear you...making a joyful noise...hehe! Wherever you are, even if you do it in your head, go visit that place...and then look at these silly pics because there is no way you can be in a bad mood after laughing at these!
Enjoy!
Hahahahahahahah.....Get GOOFY and watch how your day will brighten right up!
Loves and Hugs,
Christina
Enjoy!
Hahahahahahahah.....Get GOOFY and watch how your day will brighten right up!
Loves and Hugs,
Christina
Monday, September 12, 2011
Control or Choice...
Control...it's a funny thing! Not funny as in "Ha - Ha", but funny as in interesting. So maybe I'll say, Control....it's an interesting thing!
It's this thing we tend to need to survive, stay sane, move forward. We fight for it, we fight because of it! It's more the Lack-Of-Control we have issue with though. It's not "having" control that sends people in a tizzy and causes them to lose their rational mind. You don't believe me? Think about it! Think about why you become frustrated with people and circumstances. You cannot control people, although we try, especially if you have children, you cannot control the happenings of life. When things don't go "Our" way, we tend to....well, struggle...lol! That is the realization of NOT being in control. Control is having YOUR way. Lack-Of-Control is NOT having Your way!
The funnier thing still, is that we fight for, lose our minds for, get all crazy over NOT having control when in fact we have Never had control. Why did we ever think we did? Who said we did? Who granted that super power to you? Is that not what started the whole fall ofAdam and Eve in the garden...the lure of being in control? Is that not what got Lucifer cast down out of heaven...the desire to be in control instead of God? Ok, follow me here...Do you believe God is in control?
I do! I can prove it too! I have liked to think I have been in control of my own life, when in fact I never was in control. You see God gave us the power of Choice! Let me stop there, rewind, and highlight the word...GAVE! God GAVE us, granted us, handed us, the opportunity and ability to choose. That means God is in control and has allowed us an opportunity to choose yea or nay, left or right, up or down! He still has the control. Choice, is an option given, not control itself. We have the option to say, Yes God it's Your will, or say, No God it's my will. The consequences take effect regardless of the decision. The decision determines what those consequences will be, good or bad. If we had control, we could determine our own consequences...make sense?
Getting really personal here, I went through a time in my life of great depression and anger. My thoughts became irrational, and basically I wanted to die as way of escape from the pain I could not control. I thought that I made the choice not to take my own life because well, I didn't want to go to Hell, and I didn't want my kids to suffer in life because I was too weak to handle it. Understand that I give ALL glory to God for healing me and lifting me up out of that darkness and into His marvelous Light. However, the revelation of my Lack-Of-Control in ALL things hit so heavily yesterday in the middle-end of Church Service, that all I could do was weep and weep. The Spirit of God was upon me and I was so weak. I was unsure how I would stop crying, as service was near ending, and I needed to get my kids and say hi to people...I was not alone in the comfort of my home, I was around people and quite vulnerable. Now I surely am not afraid to be vulnerable and cry, the services were powerful and life changing and affected more than just myself. I wanted to sit in the chair and just cry and let God hold me, but life continues on and I'm a triune being; sprit, soul, and body, and well, my body had things to do! Haha! Somehow it all worked out, but I was left with the thoughts this new revelation left behind. I'm still digesting and marinating all of it. God's presence is so beautifully overwhelming.
God has always been in control. He controlled whether or not I took my life. He had a purpose and plan for me and I was still choosing Him, just battling my mind and emotions. His plan did not include me killing myself. Have you ever wondered how people's suicidal attempts fail when there is no reason it should have failed? Hello...GOD! If it ain't your time, it ain't your time! Now, not everyone meets that same end. Some people die anyways. I don't know if in their life lived out, they would have ever turned to and chosen God, possibly saving many lives through their testimony. Maybe if it wasn't that time it would be another. Maybe they would have caused much damage to others around them (as everything we do affects other people) and Satan would have really grabbed hold of them. I don't know. I do know that we all have the opportunity to meet God, let Him change us, and live for Him instead of ourselves. We have the CHOICE to take that opportunity or not.
I hope I am making sense as I'm still trying to articulate it all. I just wanted to get some of it out while it was still fresh. Something bigger is coming and has been stirring in me for awhile. I FEEL the winds of change, I FEEL the supernatural shift getting ready to rock the world, I KNOW a Move Of God is coming, and I'm getting ready!!!
Marinating Still,
Christina
It's this thing we tend to need to survive, stay sane, move forward. We fight for it, we fight because of it! It's more the Lack-Of-Control we have issue with though. It's not "having" control that sends people in a tizzy and causes them to lose their rational mind. You don't believe me? Think about it! Think about why you become frustrated with people and circumstances. You cannot control people, although we try, especially if you have children, you cannot control the happenings of life. When things don't go "Our" way, we tend to....well, struggle...lol! That is the realization of NOT being in control. Control is having YOUR way. Lack-Of-Control is NOT having Your way!
The funnier thing still, is that we fight for, lose our minds for, get all crazy over NOT having control when in fact we have Never had control. Why did we ever think we did? Who said we did? Who granted that super power to you? Is that not what started the whole fall ofAdam and Eve in the garden...the lure of being in control? Is that not what got Lucifer cast down out of heaven...the desire to be in control instead of God? Ok, follow me here...Do you believe God is in control?
I do! I can prove it too! I have liked to think I have been in control of my own life, when in fact I never was in control. You see God gave us the power of Choice! Let me stop there, rewind, and highlight the word...GAVE! God GAVE us, granted us, handed us, the opportunity and ability to choose. That means God is in control and has allowed us an opportunity to choose yea or nay, left or right, up or down! He still has the control. Choice, is an option given, not control itself. We have the option to say, Yes God it's Your will, or say, No God it's my will. The consequences take effect regardless of the decision. The decision determines what those consequences will be, good or bad. If we had control, we could determine our own consequences...make sense?
Getting really personal here, I went through a time in my life of great depression and anger. My thoughts became irrational, and basically I wanted to die as way of escape from the pain I could not control. I thought that I made the choice not to take my own life because well, I didn't want to go to Hell, and I didn't want my kids to suffer in life because I was too weak to handle it. Understand that I give ALL glory to God for healing me and lifting me up out of that darkness and into His marvelous Light. However, the revelation of my Lack-Of-Control in ALL things hit so heavily yesterday in the middle-end of Church Service, that all I could do was weep and weep. The Spirit of God was upon me and I was so weak. I was unsure how I would stop crying, as service was near ending, and I needed to get my kids and say hi to people...I was not alone in the comfort of my home, I was around people and quite vulnerable. Now I surely am not afraid to be vulnerable and cry, the services were powerful and life changing and affected more than just myself. I wanted to sit in the chair and just cry and let God hold me, but life continues on and I'm a triune being; sprit, soul, and body, and well, my body had things to do! Haha! Somehow it all worked out, but I was left with the thoughts this new revelation left behind. I'm still digesting and marinating all of it. God's presence is so beautifully overwhelming.
God has always been in control. He controlled whether or not I took my life. He had a purpose and plan for me and I was still choosing Him, just battling my mind and emotions. His plan did not include me killing myself. Have you ever wondered how people's suicidal attempts fail when there is no reason it should have failed? Hello...GOD! If it ain't your time, it ain't your time! Now, not everyone meets that same end. Some people die anyways. I don't know if in their life lived out, they would have ever turned to and chosen God, possibly saving many lives through their testimony. Maybe if it wasn't that time it would be another. Maybe they would have caused much damage to others around them (as everything we do affects other people) and Satan would have really grabbed hold of them. I don't know. I do know that we all have the opportunity to meet God, let Him change us, and live for Him instead of ourselves. We have the CHOICE to take that opportunity or not.
I hope I am making sense as I'm still trying to articulate it all. I just wanted to get some of it out while it was still fresh. Something bigger is coming and has been stirring in me for awhile. I FEEL the winds of change, I FEEL the supernatural shift getting ready to rock the world, I KNOW a Move Of God is coming, and I'm getting ready!!!
Marinating Still,
Christina
Search and Examine...
Have you ever looked at a person and wondered what in the heck they saw when they looked in the mirror before going out? Honestly, I have! Don't judge me for it, most of us have thought that about somebody at some point, whether they were people you knew, friends, family, or just a random stranger you saw that day. It could have been their clothing, style, hair, makeup, anything that made you think. I mean, geesh, don't they see that those clothes don't fit them or look flattering on them in any way. I would love to see the mental picture snapshot of others. Some people look in the mirror and see the total opposite of what they actually are. Obese people see skinny, skinny people see fat, fit people see flab, flabby people see firmness, either that or they think that showing all the skin jiggles looks good. I don't know what people think. I look at old pictures of myself over the years and I'm mortified that I ever thought some of those styles looked in the least bit cute...oh man! I went out of the house looking that way...ahhhh and yikes! "But such were some of you..." LOL!
Sadly, it's not only my skewed sight about my appearance that has been off. I think we "see" ourselves one way in how we live our lives, maybe even convince ourselves we look like something when in fact we don't. Is it possible that our perception of our spiritual life and walk with Christ is also skewed and not just with our styles and wardrobe? That's a far scarier realization to me than the latter. If we believe we are one way, when in fact we may not be, I fear we close ourselves off to the transformation that needs to take place in us.
"Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]." (Romans 12:2 AMP)
We are to be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of our minds...if our thoughts(our minds) have a skewed perception of what we look like, act like, and who we are, how can we renew anything?
Over the years God has healed and delivered me from my old self into the new creature I am now, walking in more boldness and confidence in who I am, and owning the authority as a believer that He has given me. I began to let go of the things which held me down most of my life, Fear, Depression, Anger, Insecurity and Self-Worth Issues, and many more huge road blocks in my life. Letting go is a process! It's a road of continually choosing to say no to those things and yes to God! Basically saying No to your Flesh, your own will, your own desires, your own thoughts, and yes to the Spirit, God's will and purpose for your life. Definitely not the easiest journey!
My point in all of this is that just as we so easily wonder about people's perceptions of themselves, we should really examine our own perception of ourselves. Sometimes, even though we have worked through and began to overcome many of our shortcomings, we can just as easily settle into a perception of how we now look. Yes, I have overcome Fear in my life, but God is showing other areas where Fear still needs to be weeded out. I often say that if God were to show us everything we needed to change all at once we would literally explode. Instead, in His graciousness and love for us, He gently reveals each layer we must shed in order to look more like Him, more like who He created us to be.
I see not, unless God first removes the cloak of deception from my eyes. If I am to change, if I am to be transformed, if I am to become more like Him, if I am to fulfill His purpose for my life then I must pray as King David prayed to God...
"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23, 24 KJV)
"Better is One Day..."
Christina
Sadly, it's not only my skewed sight about my appearance that has been off. I think we "see" ourselves one way in how we live our lives, maybe even convince ourselves we look like something when in fact we don't. Is it possible that our perception of our spiritual life and walk with Christ is also skewed and not just with our styles and wardrobe? That's a far scarier realization to me than the latter. If we believe we are one way, when in fact we may not be, I fear we close ourselves off to the transformation that needs to take place in us.
"Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]." (Romans 12:2 AMP)
We are to be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of our minds...if our thoughts(our minds) have a skewed perception of what we look like, act like, and who we are, how can we renew anything?
Over the years God has healed and delivered me from my old self into the new creature I am now, walking in more boldness and confidence in who I am, and owning the authority as a believer that He has given me. I began to let go of the things which held me down most of my life, Fear, Depression, Anger, Insecurity and Self-Worth Issues, and many more huge road blocks in my life. Letting go is a process! It's a road of continually choosing to say no to those things and yes to God! Basically saying No to your Flesh, your own will, your own desires, your own thoughts, and yes to the Spirit, God's will and purpose for your life. Definitely not the easiest journey!
My point in all of this is that just as we so easily wonder about people's perceptions of themselves, we should really examine our own perception of ourselves. Sometimes, even though we have worked through and began to overcome many of our shortcomings, we can just as easily settle into a perception of how we now look. Yes, I have overcome Fear in my life, but God is showing other areas where Fear still needs to be weeded out. I often say that if God were to show us everything we needed to change all at once we would literally explode. Instead, in His graciousness and love for us, He gently reveals each layer we must shed in order to look more like Him, more like who He created us to be.
I see not, unless God first removes the cloak of deception from my eyes. If I am to change, if I am to be transformed, if I am to become more like Him, if I am to fulfill His purpose for my life then I must pray as King David prayed to God...
"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23, 24 KJV)
"Better is One Day..."
Christina
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Light and Fluffy...Full of Pics!
I have been having way too much fun with some different photo apps on my iPad and I just had to share them with you!!! I have a Photo Booth App with an ever growing photo album that has been overtaken by random people and random pics. It's hilarious to open up the folder and find surprise photos taken by whoever hijacked my iPad that day. I'm having fun too, especially in moments of boredom.The other fun picture app isn't so much weird and random as it is just cool to play with. It's like a Vintage Photo editing app that I have been enjoying experimenting with. FYI...these are no "teenage bathroom phone pics"...these are the stories of those on Christina's iPad...dun, dun, dun!!!
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| I've Got My EYE On You! |
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| Fred and the Kids... |
Mirror rorriM Mirror rorriM Mirror rorriM Mirror rorriM Mirror rorriM Mirror rorriM Mirror rorriM Mirror
SQQQQQUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSHHHHHHHYYYYY Kiss Face!
Well hope ya enjoyed a quick glance into the weird randomness of...........Christina's iPad Photo Album!!!
Toodles,
Christina
Going Up the Mountain - An unfinished thought...
Wednesday, September 7th, 2011
When you feel under attack, you are forced to remain "on guard" because you are not sure when and how the attack will come. You are very alert, eyes wide open, seeing things you may not have normally noticed...this most definitely can lead to paranoia! lol!
I have asked God to "Remove Everything In Me"! Everything that He didn't put there, but I allowed the world to attach to me; Everything that doesn't align with His word and His will for my life; Everything hindering Him from moving in me and me in Him; EVERYTHING! Well He most definitely is Removing Everything and with it causing me to undergo quite an interesting journey along the way. FEAR...that darn dreadful word! It's like a plague I tell you! It creeps in ever so quietly, you hardly notice it is there...til BITE! Oh dang! The bump left after the bite is itchy and once you start scratching, well now you have gone and irritated your skin! FEAR! An irritation of the mind causing you to "ForgetEverythingAndRun" (great acrostic I heard a long time ago).
I now have my own acrostic, maybe not as cool, but hits truth.
FEAR:
Freezes you
Enslaves you
Aggravates you &
Ruins your life
Well if I just got up and packed my bags, ran away, and retreated every time I felt fear, I'm not quite sure if I would come out a victorious survivor.
When you feel under attack, you are forced to remain "on guard" because you are not sure when and how the attack will come. You are very alert, eyes wide open, seeing things you may not have normally noticed...this most definitely can lead to paranoia! lol!
I have asked God to "Remove Everything In Me"! Everything that He didn't put there, but I allowed the world to attach to me; Everything that doesn't align with His word and His will for my life; Everything hindering Him from moving in me and me in Him; EVERYTHING! Well He most definitely is Removing Everything and with it causing me to undergo quite an interesting journey along the way. FEAR...that darn dreadful word! It's like a plague I tell you! It creeps in ever so quietly, you hardly notice it is there...til BITE! Oh dang! The bump left after the bite is itchy and once you start scratching, well now you have gone and irritated your skin! FEAR! An irritation of the mind causing you to "ForgetEverythingAndRun" (great acrostic I heard a long time ago).
I now have my own acrostic, maybe not as cool, but hits truth.
FEAR:
Freezes you
Enslaves you
Aggravates you &
Ruins your life
Well if I just got up and packed my bags, ran away, and retreated every time I felt fear, I'm not quite sure if I would come out a victorious survivor.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Going Up the Mountain - pt.2
Take a step and there's a bug, take another step and there are many bugs...climbing up this mountain is hitting me in every way both figuratively through revelation and literally through trials. It has been a very bi-polar kind of day...I have become an instant victorious warrior marching straight into battle only to find myself crying and trembling in fear like some helpless baby facing danger screaming out, "Retreat! Retreat!"; then again I somehow flipped and became a worshiping warrior singing and chanting anthems; then freaking out again, but with frustration, ugh! I am taking dominion! I'm am reclaiming what the enemy is trying to steal from me...my joy, peace, my security, and my sanity. What do you do when you have no where left to retreat? Well you either die or you charge forth with all you have! Heck No, I won't Go! I'm not losing my territory, my ground, my home, my peace, my joy, my security, and my sanity!
The chants ring still in my head...
We're marching and moving Onward and Upward
The Kingdom of God is at a forceful advance
We're taking dominion over the darkness
Tearing down the works of the enemy's camps
We've got the Victory
We've got the Victory
We've got the Victory
By the Blood of the Lamb!
The enemy's been defeated
Death couldn't hold you down
Gonna lift my hands in victory
Gonna make His praises loud!
Not by power, not by might, but my My Spirit says the Lord...
Even in the valley I will sing
Even in the low place I will praise, I will praise!
Lord, no matter what darkness tries to come my way, no matter whAt circumstances I must face, no matter the roughness of this road...YOU ARE THERE! If I must go, I go with You God...all my days I will praise You Oh Lord!
The chants ring still in my head...
We're marching and moving Onward and Upward
The Kingdom of God is at a forceful advance
We're taking dominion over the darkness
Tearing down the works of the enemy's camps
We've got the Victory
We've got the Victory
We've got the Victory
By the Blood of the Lamb!
The enemy's been defeated
Death couldn't hold you down
Gonna lift my hands in victory
Gonna make His praises loud!
Not by power, not by might, but my My Spirit says the Lord...
Even in the valley I will sing
Even in the low place I will praise, I will praise!
Lord, no matter what darkness tries to come my way, no matter whAt circumstances I must face, no matter the roughness of this road...YOU ARE THERE! If I must go, I go with You God...all my days I will praise You Oh Lord!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Going Up the Mountain - pt. 1
I'm going on a journey this month...
Do you remember when Moses went up into the mountain and encountered the Burning Bush?
"The Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush; and he looked, and behold, the bush burned with fire, yet was not consumed." (Exodus 3:2 AMP)
Something happened in the course of Moses's life where God called him to come up the mountain. He had obviously been hearing from God in his life prior to this moment, but God was now calling him "higher", if that makes sense. God has been connecting some dots for me lately and it's blowing my mind. I think He is showing me one thing, based off of His revelation to me about a particular area, and then FLIP! All of His revelations are quite mind blowing, but even more so does He really blow me away when He shows me how these moments actually connect together. In that moment I feel so small in comparison to such a Mighty God. I already feel small, but I mean I feel microscopic! What's even crazier about this "Mountain Trip" is what it represents. Moses met with God and his life changed forever.
God revealed Himself to Moses...."I AM THAT I AM!"
God gave Him a mandate and a charge...."Tell Pharoah to Let My People Go!"
God connected the dots to all the crazy happenings of Moses' life experiences prior to this moment...Moses's Purpose Revealed!
I'm not sure what awaits me on this mountain, well I know God awaits me, but I'm not sure of why He is calling me. I know that He desires me to come unto Him, I know He wants me to go higher in Him, I know there is something awaiting me there, an answer, maybe a...(hesitation) mandate or charge different from where He has already brought me. Not gonna lie here, I'm kind of scared! It's new and new can be scary, but I'm going nonetheless!
Onward March.....
Christina :)
Do you remember when Moses went up into the mountain and encountered the Burning Bush?
"The Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush; and he looked, and behold, the bush burned with fire, yet was not consumed." (Exodus 3:2 AMP)
Something happened in the course of Moses's life where God called him to come up the mountain. He had obviously been hearing from God in his life prior to this moment, but God was now calling him "higher", if that makes sense. God has been connecting some dots for me lately and it's blowing my mind. I think He is showing me one thing, based off of His revelation to me about a particular area, and then FLIP! All of His revelations are quite mind blowing, but even more so does He really blow me away when He shows me how these moments actually connect together. In that moment I feel so small in comparison to such a Mighty God. I already feel small, but I mean I feel microscopic! What's even crazier about this "Mountain Trip" is what it represents. Moses met with God and his life changed forever.
God revealed Himself to Moses...."I AM THAT I AM!"
God gave Him a mandate and a charge...."Tell Pharoah to Let My People Go!"
God connected the dots to all the crazy happenings of Moses' life experiences prior to this moment...Moses's Purpose Revealed!
I'm not sure what awaits me on this mountain, well I know God awaits me, but I'm not sure of why He is calling me. I know that He desires me to come unto Him, I know He wants me to go higher in Him, I know there is something awaiting me there, an answer, maybe a...(hesitation) mandate or charge different from where He has already brought me. Not gonna lie here, I'm kind of scared! It's new and new can be scary, but I'm going nonetheless!
Onward March.....
Christina :)
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Mirror, Mirror, on the wall....
I just realized something about myself...
I Have always thought myself to be a person who embraces most change. I love change, I need change! However, earlier this week I looked in the mirror and I did not see a person who loves change. I saw a person who freaks out when change comes. How can this be? Am I two people? No, I'm still Christina. Hmmm, what then? Well, let me tell ya....you see I DO love change, when I'm in control of it that is...it's when I'm not in control, don't know what lurks ahead, having to do things different when I just finished settling into the first thing. I did change, that one thing over there, it took a lot of processing, some trial and error, much discomfort...you want me to do what now? Change again? Hahaha, yeah I don't think so....defensive spikes are now up, all doors are now locked, the building (me) is now secure, nothing gets in or out! Hahaha!
Oh sad me! Or not...
The thought is not complete yet...God still finishes revealing even after showing me, me! I was listening...and somehow everything is alright! More coming, stay tuned!
I Have always thought myself to be a person who embraces most change. I love change, I need change! However, earlier this week I looked in the mirror and I did not see a person who loves change. I saw a person who freaks out when change comes. How can this be? Am I two people? No, I'm still Christina. Hmmm, what then? Well, let me tell ya....you see I DO love change, when I'm in control of it that is...it's when I'm not in control, don't know what lurks ahead, having to do things different when I just finished settling into the first thing. I did change, that one thing over there, it took a lot of processing, some trial and error, much discomfort...you want me to do what now? Change again? Hahaha, yeah I don't think so....defensive spikes are now up, all doors are now locked, the building (me) is now secure, nothing gets in or out! Hahaha!
Oh sad me! Or not...
The thought is not complete yet...God still finishes revealing even after showing me, me! I was listening...and somehow everything is alright! More coming, stay tuned!
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