DAY 14 of 21.....

Today I am UNSHAKABLE!!!!

I am so consumed by the presence of God today and nothing can take me from that place. Last night was a bit rough because I was feeling really emotional, my breathing difficulties were overtaking me, and my rash was coming back and spreading. I had a hard time at rehearsal as well, it's hard to sing when you can't get deep breaths of air. There is a constant pain in my chest and a tightening that is becoming harder and harder to push through. I can't get a deep breath of air and so every shallow breath causes what feel like air bubbles in my chest which is what the pain seems to be. It's like a tightening with trapped burps...haha! 

The rash and breathing are still persisting now, but even still I have a sense of peace and some really lovely joy. I am very uncomfortable, but I know that God is in control. Last night I had a moment of feeling like I was utterly alone. Like being surrounded by an angry mob of people and God was somewhere outside of it but I couldn't see Him or reach Him. Like I was stuck and stranded left to suffer continuously and no one would help or understand. I don't wanna be the big complainer, listing off my problems, so I often just stay quiet and push through. I have to for myself and I have to because I am an example. There is more at stake than me just doing whatever I want to with my life. I have been called to lead people. I have been called, as we all have to witness and share of the "good news". How can I dare open my mouth and speak of Jesus and live anything opposite of Him? I would blaspheme His name. I mean, Satan knows the word, he knows God, and he speaks whispers of lies to the people twisting and perverting the truths to the unknowing. I cannot participate in that or be in that same category. I must speak truth and live truth. I know I am far from perfect, but He who is perfect can through me, perfect me. The more I seek Him, the more I shed of my old self, my sinful self, the more I exemplify Him......It's about Him!

I must walk in this good day tomorrow....I must continue to press forth into His presence. I cry out to Him when I am weak because I know that through Him I am strong. In my failures He comes in and covers me and brings me back to Him. Only He can see me for who I really am and yet He loves me, oh how He loves me. He is my Father, Savior, my Friend, my Redeemer, my reason to live and He loves me where I am, that's who You are God!!!

Until tomorrow....well after I go to sleep and wake back up,
Loves and Hugs
Christina