Another double days blog....not trying to make this a habit!
Yesterday was a much better day, but I still had to press. I just chose to not allow anything to completely ruin me like Monday. I enjoyed some great time with my gal, which helped to soften the chaotic blows. Poor her, after Monday I might be scared to be friends with me. Vulnerability to the max I tell ya. I let it all come out and hey just so everyone knows....I'M NOT PERFECT! I DO HAVE BAD DAYS! I DO LET LIFE PULL ME DOWN! I DO FOLD MY HANDS AND JUST CRY! BUT!!!!!!!!!!!....................I refuse to stay there and I will do whatever it takes to be victorious!
I was busy yesterday and the non-stop cycle probably helped me recover from my Monday Madness! Lol! I have been so frustrated trying to figure out what the heck I can eat. We went HUGE grocery shopping on Monday and out of all that food there was nothing for me. I am allergic to it all! WHYYYY!!!!! So I decided I would figure out things I could easily grab and snack on that I can eat and that would make me happy. I bought myself bunches of berries. Strawberries, Raspberries, Blueberries, Blackberries, and Black seedless Grapes, Organic Granola that did not have Rye, Barley, Whole Wheat, Milk, or Soy. That is hard to do! I also got some plain rice cakes, only one brand without soy in it, and I can eat it with drizzled honey which is actually quite tasty! I ate eggs yesterday with my delicious variety of Jalapeno Green and Chipotlle Tabascos. I had to use Olive Oil to make the eggs in the pan because butter is dairy (I'm not allergic but have intolerance for) and Vegetable oil is really Soybean oil. Why call it vegetable oil when the only ingredient listed is Soybean? Bah! Lol!
I think I will put a positive spin on all of this and not focus on the negative or things I can't have or limitations, but instead list all the things I can have, how I can be healthy and feel good, how God is still at the center of my life and has a plan for me as I face this. I believe Him to be my healer and I don't think I will be stuck in this forever. I will press through and sacrifice to my flesh so that the Holy Spirit may rise up in me and I may fulfill the purpose. Maybe this can be like a continual consecration unto the Lord as my flesh is denied comforts and pleasures in this food area. Maybe it's a way for my tongue to be bridled as there is forced control (like a bit in a horses mouth) as to what goes in filtering what comes out. I choose to find positives! I choose!!!!! I CHOOSE!!! Yes, I am in control over my choices, so if that is the only control I really have let me master it and let God take care of the rest!
One small victory equals One giant leap and a huge moment of joy.....God loves me and He cares for me and He knows I am having a hard time. He is always there for me. I wanted a cup of coffee this morning and I know that Creamer has Soybean Oil in it, but I still wanted some. I decided to read the labels. The Coffeemate brand uses Soybean Oil and/or Cottonseed Oil, but to my amazement a new favorite creamer, The International Delight Coffeehouse Special Vanilla Latte does NOT!!! They use Palm Oil. Wwooooo to the hoooodidily hoooo!!!!!! It's the small things that God does for me that bring me so much joy. If I can have joy in the small things He does for me that feel like Huge things, than how much more joy can I have knowing that eternity with Him is coming.
Folks, let me tell you.....pressing sure ain't easy, but it's nothing compared to eternity. This is all temporal so why do we harp on it and dwell on it and become consumed by it? Let us help each other see and remember the small things that can be large things that can bring joy that in comparison to what's coming can propel us forward as we wait. GOD IS HERE PEOPLE!!!! HE IS ALL AROUND US WE JUST NEED TO SEE HIM, we must see Him and not the other stuff! See Him, and we will see more than we can imagine! Open the eyes of our hearts Lord, we want to see You!
Until tomorrow...
Loves & Hugs,
Christina
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