November 8, 2010
Compassionate OR Compassionless…
I have the hardest struggle with my emotions in regards to being compassionate. I get frustrated easily at things that I have a right to be bothered by but not a right to be so bothered by it…does that even make sense? I pour out so much of myself and I push past so much to operate in all that I do that when I hear the excuses of others I get frustrated. I mean seriously, that’s your reason??? Ugh! But somewhere along the line I remind myself that everyone is not and will not be me. They will not give what and how I myself give. They will not pour out how I myself pour out. I also have to remember that not everyone has my call? Actually no one has MY call. My compassion begins to kick back in and then I remember when I was in the position of the other person, or if I was in the position of the other person at that time in their life. I don’t want to be judged for the limits I have that overwhelm me, or push me to step away, or cause me to regress, or just hit my breaking point. Once I change my stinky mind into this more rational and more righteous, more compassionate mindset, I feel the frustration leave and I can move on about my business much lighter than the moment before. Like a really good poop! (I think I use this phrase often, but it’s what comes to mind for a comparison). The real issue that proves more important than what people do or don’t do, is what I do or don’t do. I have to nip this frustration thing in the booty!!! It controls too much of my life, and I would love to say uninvited but I guess I kind of invite it.
As I peer closely into myself, inspecting every nook and cranny, I find my time with God has decreased and it was giving more room to my flesh. Ugh! Why must I continue this flesh cycle…so annoying! It only takes one thing, like tiredness to throw it all off!!! You miss some needed time and then you can’t seem to make time for the important things, like GOD!!!
Just stay focused, just stay focused, what do we do, we fooooooooo-cus! (sung to the tune of Dory from Nemo singing “Just keep swimming…”)
It’s easy to become Melancholy and pull away to myself, but well I don’t really have many of those opportunities in my life at this point. So tough up Chris!!!! LOL! Hehehe!
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