LOST...

I am left with this feeling of being pulled into something with such intensity only to be dropped off the edge of a cliff....grrrrrrrr!!! My emotions, although did choke me up in a few scenes, are jumbled and abused...that's what it was abused emotions...ah well...I should have guessed because of all the symbols throughout the shows and even on the church window in the season finale. Well...I'm sure I will feel better once these emotions have dissipated. I guess it's hard to "end" something everyone has invested so much time into...be it the producers, actors, and viewers, etc. I think this review says it best:

(by the way...I am talking about the 6 season series LOST...for those who may be lost...LOL)

"This series is an example of an experiment that intrigued enough people (and made enough "money) that they had to keep it going, even though the writers didn't have a clue about what to do next season. It proves that character trumps plot, because certainly the plot has enough holes to fly a fleet of 747s through. My suggestion to bored people (either loving or hating it) is that they pick up a BOOK, and get some reading in before you get hooked on another one of these series. At least in most books you have to be credible, or it won't get published. There is no point to argue about what this show means or doesn't mean because the writers admitted they were making it up as they went along, and so it got so convoluted it was running on fumes (like the jet which miraculously started right up with the help of duct tape, and flew out of the jungle on a short dirt runway). The ending was a cop-out, a melodramatic tear jerker that allowed you to see the characters you've grown to know hugging each other. It offers no real explanation of what went before for years...the Dharma initiative, the button to stop the world from ending, etc. And you don't even care. The characters are what matters. --author of FAME ISLAND"


*WARNING Disclaimner* Purgatory & then heaven...really?! (still LOST) Sorry folks...you either are for Christ or against Him, there is no mixture of both, HELL is HELL & HEAVEN IS HEAVEN & you don't get experience both. There is no "Christian Shepherd" leading the people out of Hell. Once you are there you're there. The only way to heaven is through Jesus while you still have a choice to make. So annoying to see things perversed which really does cause people to be "LOST"


Ok so, back to life, back to reality...
TIME TO START CLEANING AND PACKING AND DOING WHAT I GOTTA DO...YAY!

Until another moment,
Loves & Hugs!

30 more days....

So...............................................................


Lol! My hubby is turning 30 and it's such a special milestone...not just the age, but because of where we are in our lives. Every so many birthdays, his birthday and Father's Day fall on the same day...kinda makes it even more special...and it just so happens that this is one of those "every so many" birthdays. Sunday, June 30th, 2010...yay! I'm so proud of him! He has grown up into an amazing man since we first started the whole "me and Jerry life" when he was only but 17 years old...my how far we have come...almost 11 years of marriage, 3 children, Youth Pastors to our super great YOUTHers...so on fire for God...just grand!!! I get to have a front row seat to all that God is doing in him and through him and around him. I am so in love with this guy!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! :) He is my love for life! Yes sireeee! :)


Well, anyhoo...it does make me a little sad that his birthday and Father's day are coming at kind of an inconvenient time for us. We are in the midst of trying to move (don't quite know where yet but trusting in God to lead the way), and financials are...well...just not where I'd like them to be for this moment...I can't complain because we are still living pretty comfy....just the focus is on moving...and so I really wish I could do more for him to show him how special he truly is. Some years we try and out "surprise birthday" each other and other years are spent quietly with ourselves. Life is constantly propelling forward for us and that doesn't always leave an abundance of "free time" but we both love what God is doing in our lives and any sacrifice of time is so totally worth it! It's all about being Kingdom minded! Yep! :) 


These are just my little thoughts for the night...after a long day of starting the packing process...gotta be out by June 9th....ok Lord I would totally be cool if you wanted to tell me where we were going to be living...you know...let me in on Your plan! :) You know if you see fit and all...hehe! 


Summer is delayed a week, due to some random extra week of school for my boys...never before in history have they or myself (in the same school district) been in school past the 19th-21st 'ish' time frame...gah! Well, oh well...I guess it does give me an extra week to get some stuff done...


I think for tonight I will spare any more escaped and shared thoughts. I love you all and appreciate everyone in my life! You bless me much!!! :)


LOVES & HUGS & NIGHT TOO!!!
The one and only ME :)

MORE!!!

Here is my heart, here is my heart, here is my heart, You can have it all...Oh Father, how I love You so! There's something in Your eyes, something in Your touch, something in the way that You draw me back to You, I was born to worship You, I was made to Worship You Oh my King...Father I am Yours wholly and fully...I surrender myself, my plans, my thoughts, all of me, to You God and to Your will and Your way! I know that You know the desires and longings of my heart. Reveal them unto me as You align me with Your word Father.


I love all that God has put in me and is stirring up and pouring out...my worship is for HIM but it changes ME! I love, I live t worship!!! It's an incredible feeling to feel my spirit worshiping...it's this intensity that stirs from way down deep...in the pit of a place unreachable by anyone other than God. It's the place where His love abides and covers. It's the place where His hand dips in and pulls us up to higher places with Him. I find myself falling asleep and waking up to songs stirring in my spirit. It's an uncontrollable intense feeling similar to "butterflies" in the tummy...but I'm not nervous, maybe excitedly anticipating being in God's presence....that trembling of my flesh in His presence...unlike anything else....just close to Him! aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Can you feel it? Can you feel Him?


Oh to be close to the Master, to the Holy One, standing in His presence.........I was born to worship You, I was made to worship You My Lord, I was born to worship You, I was made to worship You My King, I was born to worship You, I was made to worship You My God...that's what my heart longs for! I am desperate to be surrounded and encompassed about by Your Holy presence God...I need You, I need to feel You near, I need to see You God, stir up my desire for You...let it be greater than anything else in My life that I may fulfill all of Your calling for me God!


I've never felt such intensity stirring in me like I have in this past year....I am overwhelmed with His goodness! I am overtaken by His grace, I am captivated by His love for me and I am captured by His hearts desire for me! aaahhhhh!! Oh Abba I draw in to You, I draw in to You, I draw into Your presence...fill me, fill me God!!! fill me up with more of You!


Its becomes harder and harder to breathe and withstand His Glory and Holiness....it's hard to contain it all within my heart...my heart literally breaks for His heart and I can feel it ripping as it is EXPANDING and ENLARGING, and INCREASING...is there anymore room? It's so full, always on the verge of explosion and the more I press into Him the more I feel like I will explode but somehow I fill up more. How you can be overflowing but still receiving ALL that comes pouring in.....only God, only by God!!!! Oh how we want You to come, oh how we want You to come....Come oh God, Come oh God, come in, invade us, surround us, overtake us, come in God, come in God.............................................


Where the Spirit of the Lord abides there is freedom and liberty! Oh Lord Come....all consuming fire, Your our hearts desire, living flame of Love, come baptize us, come baptize us.....all consuming fire, Your our hearts desire, living flame of love, come baptize us, come baptize us!!! Baptize us, consume us with Your presence God...let us fall more in love with You, let us fall more in love with You, let us fall more in love with You....we wanna know how high, how deep, how wide, is Love Love Love.....How high is Your Love, How wide is Your love, How deep is Your love for us........come God, come!!!!! Let us fall more in Love with You, LET US FALL MORE IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!! Let it go deep, go deep, go deep, go deep.....Let us fall more in love with You...let Your love go deep, go deep....all consuming fire, Your our hearts desire, living flame of love come baptize us, come baptize us!!!


Oh how I love You Lord....
There is no love sweeter than the love You pour on me, there is no song sweeter than the song You sing to me, there is no place that I would rather be, than here at Your feet laying down everything...All to You, I surrender everything every part of me, all to You I surrender all of my dreams, all of me...If worships like perfume than I'll pour mine out one You, for there in none as deserving of my love like You, so take my hand and draw me into You, I want to be swept away lost in love for You....all to You I surrender everything every part of me, all to You, I surrender all of my dreams all of me...I surrender, i surrender!!!


Oh be so filled today in all that you do that God may make Himself manifest in Your lives!

Dizzy much...?

Round and round and round we go...You ever feel like your spinning in circles? You know, like how kids spin around and around and when they stop they get so dizzy that when they try to walk they end up just falling and crumbling to the ground. Then they lay there while their eyes are moving and trying to adjust to a normal, non-dizzy speed. Do you know this feeling? Well, I not only know this feeling, from actually doing this with my kids, and probably as a kid, but I know this feeling as a metaphor in my life.

Sometimes we are running, running, this way and that way...we could be on the right path, doing all those things we are supposed to be doing, having to be doing, everything...then all of a sudden something just cracks! You have been trying to hold it all together in the midst of sheer chaos, not really having the luxury or choice to just walk away from it, and then boom...before you realize it, you have become dizzy and crumbled to the ground and now you are laying there on the ground waiting for your eyes to adjust and the dizzy feeling to subside. You are left with an after feeling of "how the heck did this just happen"...

For me, once that "dizzy" feeling subsides and my focus has become clearer, I am hit with the realization that somewhere along the way I shifted from relying on God's strength to relying on my own. It's at the moment when you begin to spin...it's like a System Overload.

There are so many things that I can use too, as an example or reference point when describing an experience. For instance, the Matrix...so many correlations and comparisons in there...but I will pick just one. Neo has just been "awakened" to "reality"...his body has begun to heal and is adjusting or readjusting to this life. He is meeting all the people on board the ship and he is introduced to his "training session". He sits in the chair and in goes the plug.....gfkgkdfgkasfhjalfhweiygqiehiowqtrutqwpifyh....that was the weird computer glyche sound that is made as tons of info was just downloaded into his brain. His body had jerked back as if in agony and it went with the screeching sound. Then he was ready for more...right now I feel just like that!! God has been pouring into me so much, but I haven't yet arrived at the part of the movie where I have learned Kung Fu and am ready to fight Morphius. I am still being downloaded into...

I have two angles to this... ONE: God has been pouring so many things into me...words, messages, revelations, challenges, ideas...so much! If I pour out too soon than just like Neo...I will fall and hit the cement and come out of my chair with a bloody mouth. I have to wait for the SOUP to finish cooking before I serve it! LOL! But I am a boiling pot of yielding flavors and ingredients just anticipating the moment when I have reached max boil and everything comes together into a yummy goodness. Then TWO: God is adding, and adding, and...........adding, to my plate. Like Neo I must grasp so much in such a short amount of time. I have been "ASLEEP" for so long to the "TRUTH" and now that I am "AWAKENED" I need to be brought up to speed to all that has gone on and is going on now.

How many of us are still asleep or are just being awakened to the truth, reality as it is, not as we knew it to be? The key in all of this is to realize that we alone, on our own, by our own strength CAN NOT do anything...not anything Kingdom Related. We will fail every time WE TRY! Why do we always try? We know God is our strength, but yet we forget and think we are stronger...what?!?!?!

Reflections of a Mother

I was asked to be one of three speakers on Sunday sharing my reflections and perceptions. I thought I would share it with you here too. Enjoy! :)

As I look back on my life from the beginning of my Motherhood until now, the definition and meaning of what and who a mother is has changed. As a child, the capacity to understand the significance of the role of a mother is limited by our inexperience. As we grow and mature and begin families of our own, our thoughts, ideas, and understandings begin to transform. For me, my journey as a mother began a bit earlier than intended. I was but a child having a child. For me, my journey as a mother began at the age of 16. Not only did I defy the odds against me as a teenage mother, but I am now a Mother to a Generation of teens. Being a mother is more than just birthing God given life into the world. It’s more than adopting the lives God has created. It’s more than teaching a child to ride a bike or helping them go to school, wiping runny noses and cleaning up messes, drying tears and reading stories. It’s more than feeding them all 18 plus years of their lives, providing a home for them, or even loving them unconditionally. All these things and more come with the job title of Mother. As best as we can, we work hard to fill the role of what we think a mother should be. But when I look at my life, and look at the lives of other mothers, and look at my own mother, and then look at God, the word Mother seems like a word with endless description. Mother, how do you define Mother?

Well I don’t think there is any perfectly complete description…to me Mother means Increase! God promises to increase and enlarge our territory. I have come to know this in many different aspects of my life and being a Mother is one of them. As a mother I have increased in ways that I could never have imagined. As a mother I have grown in knowledge and understanding. I desire to know more because I have received the revelation of my role. God has charged me with the responsibility to bring HIS CHILDREN to the knowledge of Him and walk in fulfillment of all that He has called them to. I am to raise up His Mighty Warriors and Awaken them to a Life lived for Him so they will Impact the World and People around them. My children, my own 3 children I have birthed, the children I have been able to speak into their lives, my Youth-ers who God has given me such a heart for, and all those who will cross my path before Christ returns…I am a Mother.

A Mother is a Calling…you are Called and Chosen to be a Mother. Many do not accept or respect or receive this call, but God has made a plan for us all if we would but follow it. A Mother is special in so many ways, affects so many lives, is responsible for so many things, carries so much on her shoulders, is a mighty force behind, on the side of, in front of, all around the many people she comes in contact with. A Mother is one of God’s special gifts and blessings to His people. As a mother I look at my children and God shows me things about my relationship with Him and how I can cultivate it more. He breaks the walls around my own heart so I can see through the eyes His heart. As a mother I have to push past myself, my tiredness, my flaws and imperfections, past my own ways and seek after God to help me be who He has called me to be. I want to give my children, all of them, my best the best God says I am, beyond what I think to align with His thoughts. My own mother is so precious to me and I have loved the transformation in our relationship to the special bond that we have now. God has truly blessed me. I also have other mothers, who are spiritual mothers to me, and they all have helped shape and mold me into who you see standing before you today. Where would I be without the influence of mother’s in my life? Where will my children and my youth be without the influence of me as a mother in their lives? I am not perfect…but mother doesn’t mean perfect. We say no limits…and for the titles and labels we feel we need to paste on everything around us so it will fit into our understanding and reasoning…we must move past it and stop looking for it. Let God define us, not man, not ourselves. God’s definitions are bigger than the capacity of our minds…it’s wrapped in His love, His grace, and His mercy.

A Mother needs no definition…we sometimes desire affirmation, but with or without it we are mothers nonetheless. If I must describe a Mother to me, I will say that a Mother is a Marvelous, Outstanding, Terrific, Honorable, Extraordinary, and Radiant Woman who God specifically created and designed as a blessing to His people. For myself as a Mother, I aspire to:

Move forward with purpose and passion and Might

Overtake all Obstacles before me

Triumph always in Truth

Humbly laying my life at the feet of the Holy One

Eloquent, Equipped, and Elevated to new levels in Him

Radiating the Love of Christ, ALL POURED OUT as a Role Model to His people.

MOTHER…not just a word or name…but a God created, special blessing for all of us to enjoy!

Word from God...May 2010

2 Words God has given me the past week...be blessed and encouraged and so stirred!!!
Loves,
Christina




"A great wind is coming!!! A great wind! Can you feel it??? Can you feel it???? I have said let the little children come unto Me. I have prepared them and they fight for Me, but will YOU??? Will you trust that I AM with you? Will you believe that I AM moving on your behalf? Will you put your focus back on Me, on My Voice, on My Word? Will you hear My Truth against all others? Will you push past your circumstances and arise in Me? Will you be that force that I have raised up and am calling forth? I know you have been afraid to step out. What is it that is holding you back from Me, from My Word being birthed in You? What keeps you seperated from Me? Have you forgotten who I AM? Have you forgotten what it feels like to be surrounded by My presence? What do you wait for then? What is missing? What is it that you need to propel you forward towards My purpose? Believe!!! Believe so you can break free! Believe so you can receive what I have for you! A wind is coming! Like a rushing wave a great wind is coming to blow! Blow over My people, Blow over this place! What comes out of the wind is not yet known to you but I AM showing you because you have asked. Prepare! I WILL shift this place. I WILL move that which is in front of you so that you can move forward into the direction I AM taking you. I am positioning you. In your obedience you have waited for Me to make My move and now is the time for you to go. Go forward in your destiny, go forward in your purpose. Yes I have My plan for you. Trust in Me and I will direct which way you will go as I advance you towards the goal. Will you meet with Me? Will you come out unto Me?I have waited for you as you have waited for Me, but now is the time. Move Out!!! Move Out!!! Forward March!!! Forward March!!! The Lord is with you Mighty Warriors so arise!!! My Word is Truth! I AM the Way!! Come unto Me! Come unto Me! Seek My face! Seek My way! Seek My heart that I may stir up the desires of yours. Young Women, Young Men, Warriors, the cry has gone forth, hear the sound of the alarm. Hear the sound of the trumpets blowing. The battle is at hand. Prepare for the way of the King! He comes yet again to seek glory in this place! He comes as a husband longs for His bride. He seeks to find you. He desires to know you but won't you come unto Him. Enter into His presence. His throne room is paved with gold. The Lord is with you Mighty Warriors!!! Mount up, Mount Up, Mount Up on the wings of eagles! Mount up, Mount up, Mount up on the wings of eagles. Arise!!! Who is it that enters in among you? Have you no respect that you would not bow in His presence? Do you not know who it is that comes out before thee? Have you not seen His face? Have you not heard the sound of His voice? Come My children I have been waiting for you to come so that I may prepare you for My Son. You are the bride but you must be ready! You must be prepared! It's time to awaken! You need to hear My voice or you will miss the call."




"Purpose and Destiny bring power. Don't doubt the word of God for He has spoken a great word. Don't you know that as you fight this battle I AM with you? Do you think I have left you? To the North, the South, the East, and the West, raise up My sword against those things in those places! Hear the sound of My voice because I will direct the direction you must move in to advance in this war...in this battle. Fight off those things. No principality, no darkness, the enemy has been defeated! My word prevails in the hearts and minds of My people and My word WILL go forth out among the nations. My work will prosper! My Light will shine. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit come down upon us Lord that we may rise up in You. Breathe on us Father God as we are so stirred in our spirits."

...and POP!!!

I can barely contain it all...I'm ready to explode! I'm so full with what God is pouring into me and it's about to come pouring out. This has been a great week and God has given me some great revelation and great direction and focus. Things are coming into view and that feels so refreshing. When you are running a race and you have been pushing past the feeling of your body about to give out...I actually don't personally know this because I don't run (literally, that is)...but you are running and running hoping that it will all end soon before your legs give out from under you. Then you see it, you see in distance a view of the finish line...it sparks something inside you that gives you a boost of "something"...adrenaline, umph, I don't know, but you are then able to keep pushing because you can actually SEE the end is near. You can SEE that you are almost there. All that hard work is about to pay off if you can just reach it! Well I kind of feel like that....I have been nearing the end of a few different things and I can finally see the finish line. I had some moments of panic on the inside as I thought surely my body is gonna give out from under me...but I kept pushing and now I am so close. I am 2 classes away from graduating from the Armour Bearers Discipleship Program and only a few classes shy of my Bachelor's in Theology. I am working on my Business Plan for a new ministry, my ministry, which is part of the completion of my Armour Bearers class. I actually present it next week...a little scary but feeling more and more confident as God pours more revelation into me and helps me walk past the next phase of getting rid of Fear and Insecurity. I have been propelled forward in New and Exciting ways in my worship as a Worship Leader and Prophetic Worshiper. I am coming into ME, finding ME, seeing the ME God created ME to be! It's so amazing to watch myself grow. It's a bit surreal to see yourself somewhere you only partially imagined and not knowing what it would look like. I am going to be 28 this November. I really can't believe how I got here. I mean I was 16 and preggo and now I am 28, so happily married for almost 11 years, have 3 beautiful amazing children who will all be in school in the fall, I am a Youth Pastor, with a God mandated Vision to "Awaken a Generation that will Impact this Nation!", I am learning to be the Prophetic Worship Leader God has called me to be, I am writing and writing which will lead to the Books I will write one day (also God spoken), I am in a place in my life that I can sit back and say WOAH! every day and I love it! I say Woah and Wow and Aaaaahhhh because of God! Nothing I am would be without Him in my life...there is so much more to come...as Joseph was shown big visions and big dreams, God has shown me things and I know it's only in part. I have big vision and big dreams and I know now that I was created with a Purpose and I live my life walking in fulfillment of that...I want nothing else but to be and go and move and walk and live how God intended for me.

I am so full...my body, my flesh, can barely contain it without experiencing extreme butterflies in my tummy, and anxiety in my heart, and an intensity in the pit of me that is stirring and stirring....this must remain my focus, not life and all the crazy things it is CONSTANTLY throwing my way...NO not that! I must push those clouds out of my way with the authority and strength God has freely given His people...I'm His people!!! I have been called by His name and I humbly come before Him and pray and seek His face, turning from all my own ways as I give my self and my ways to Him, so that He will come in and restore me to the original creation and plan He predestined me for, so that He will use me to glorify His Kingdom and reach His people, and awaken them so they won't miss His call!!! I have this revelation of the "point" to all of this....why we are here, why God would even create us if He knows all things and knows our sinful nature...the earth is but a womb to eternity...this, all this is only preparation for what lies ahead, eternity with God. We don't, can't know what that will look like or what it is because it is beyond the capacity of our earthly minds but I know inside that there is more and that is the more with Him, with God....the Holy Spirit drives me and stirs in me and connects me with Jesus who connects me with My Father...you must believe in the Trinity! God IS the Father, the Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit! They are 3 but ONE. You must believe that and know that! You must open and receive that revelation. Nothing else works without that foundational revelation knowledge. None of this would be without that! In a 2-dimensional world, on paper you see 3 dots. The people that live on that paper can only see within the boundaries of their 2 dimensional world and thus see only 3 dots...they have to believe by faith and revelation knowledge and personal relationship with God to believe He is a part of those 3 dots. Then you have us in our 3/4th dimensional world (4th being time) and we see three dots connected to three fingers...but the point is those 3 fingers connect to ONE hand thus helping to understand the trinity of 3 but 1. We cannot limit ourselves to the capacity of what our minds can understand but be open to what God can show us. We must ask for enlarging and increasing! We must want it, desire it, seek it, work for it to contain it all! Oh God I pray that you would help us not be limited by our own minds and our own understanding, but be open to Your mind, Your ways, Your understanding, Your heart God! Open me up to You, open us all up to more of You! More of Your power and word and knowledge and understanding...it's not easy to will our flesh into submission to Your Spirit, but God I know that all things can happen through You if they are aligned with Your will! Help us to see and know that YOU AND YOU ALONE ARE GOD!!!! Remove the blinders and deceptions. Make the Truth known and shine Your Light on all the dark places. If we are walking blind in any area God please Help Us to see the truth! Chains be broken God! Chains be broken!!! In Jesus Name...Amen!! :)

More is coming....

Christina

Word from God - 5.5.10

When will you give up on your flesh? When will you stop leaning on it? Why do you still go to it? Why do you still think with it? Why do you allow it to control you when I have said in My word "do not walk after the flesh, but after the Spirit, My Spirit which abideth in you"? I have been calling you to things, but yet you turn away from Me, away from My word, away from My will. You turn and look at those things which are not of Me, not of My word, not of My will for your lives. I have been calling you, but yet you continue to lay sleeping, ignoring the call of My voice. Can you not hear it? Can you not feel it? Can you not feel Me? My presence surely surrounds you yet you know it not! I have come that you might have LIFE and have it more abundantly, yet you sit idle in death waiting for something that will not come in that place. What do you wait for? Who do you wait for? Who do you seek? What do you seek? Surely it is not I!

A great wind is coming!!! Prepare ye the way to your hearts for I AM coming upon the earth. Gather the people! Gather the people! The King is coming, gather the people! Can you hear it? Can you hear the sound of His voice? Can you see Him? He's coming! The King is coming! Prepare ye the way! Prepare ye the way!!! Sound the alarm! Sound the trumpets! The King is coming! Sound the alarm! The King is coming!

I have called you My people! I have chosen you from out of the darkness to come, follow Me! Follow Me into eternity! Follow Me into the Secret Place! Follow Me and I will show you things! Follow Me for I AM come that you might have life more abundantly. Awaken, Oh ye that are sleeping! Awaken and Arise and hear the sound of My voice! Awaken to the call! Come! Come! Come! Come and behold the beauty of My marvelous works before you. Come, My precious children! Come sit in the midst of Me. Gaze upon My eyes for My Love is for you. My Heart is for you! My Grace rests upon you can you not feel it? Do you not want it?

Listen My children! I have a word for you but first you must listen. Adhere to the sound of My voice. None else shall come before thee as I have come before you. None else shall make movement and cause the earth to shift. None else shall move the mountains and move the heavens.