Worship Is More Important Than You Know...

I don't know about you but I will often find myself stuck in cycles. I think I have mentioned this before. It becomes a seemingly never ending cycle of really great and not really great....super encouraged, stirred up, hungry, and then feeling far from it all, far from God as if He all of a sudden is past my reach. What is this? Why must I face this cycle time and time again? It drives me to hate my flesh. I hate its barriers, its lazy nature, its self-medicating, self-indulging, selfish ways. I just want to be far from it but how can I when I am trapped inside of it. This exterior that seems to be the one last thing that keeps me from the fullness of God's presence. It's like I can only have so much of Him while inside my flesh and I can't wait to have all of Him. I imagine it must be this way for a child inside a mothers womb, hearing her heartbeat, hearing her voice, longing to see her face and feel her arms wrap around you. No wonder they kick so much...hehehe! We are like a child in the womb waiting to be birthed into eternity with our Abba Daddy!!! 


I am sitting here listening and watching some Hillsong worship and my spirit is again stirred as it was today in service. I have come to realize how slick the enemy is....I fall for this trap many times and probably walk in unnecessary weaknesses that are more like a false weakness but become my reality until I realize the strength and power of God that lay inside of me and had been all along. Wake up self! Wake up people! Wake up and see and hear and know that HE IS GOD!! 


I will often get into a sort of funk and I find it hard to press into His presence and worship Him when it's just me and Him. I don't have much time for this so I press forward because my job is never ending...there is not time for this word called "down" to linger long. I cannot be fake, I cannot present unworthiness to my Lord and to His people...Worship is my life!!! Worship is what blasts away the exteriors that form around the presence of God. The more we worship the more the "walls come down!" 


I have found myself not turning on worship music because I felt I should be able to enter in without other's help...after all it's my job...it's what I do....I lead worship...but does that make me un-leadable? Hmm....oh Lord I never want to become that but in my desire to please You and show You I am Yours, I have pulled away and begun to rely on myself....then BOOOOOM....I am weakened.....


Turn on the Worship...get yourself there wherever you are and allow the Holy Spirit to be stirred in you. You are not weak when you search for the stirring.....you are hungry for God's presence....it will propel you to move forward, hear His voice more clearly, escape the boundaries of your flesh to allow Him to abide. Never Never Never forsake the worship. Yes pair it with the Word, Yes pair it with Prayer, but never forsake the worship. It is the key to opening you up, softening the hardness of your flesh and allowing God's presence to flow FREELY within you. THAT is Freedom! THAT is Worship! 


Worship.......it is more important than you know!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve...

November 23^rd, 2010

So, in lieu of the Thanksgiving spirit/holiday I figured I should share my Thankfulness. I mean everyone else is doing it so why not right? Lol! As I brought my kids to school this morning, parked the car, embraced preparedly the biting cold, waved goodbye as they walked into the building, and made my way back to the truck hurriedly so I could blast the heat….(deep breath)…lol….I looked amidst the rows of vehicles and glanced with a smile over at my truck. I immediately thought, “I’m so thankful to have a truck!” For so long I have desired to own a truck or larger vehicle of some sorts and for so long I seemed doomed to ride in a car forever. There is this little image in my head, ever since Cedric started kindergarten way back when, and I’m beginning to think it will just never be my life. I always wanted to live in a house, the same house that was within eyes view and walking distance to my children’s school. I wanted the whole neighborhood feel, with my kids having school buddies, you know this picture! I was the super young mom, living in an apartment, with only 1 vehicle and it was a car. What accomplishments have I made in my life at this point…(this was 7years ago). I felt inadequate but my success was measured differently. I loved God, was going to church, was still married to the same man I got pregnant by at 16, I mean no one from back in my school day thought we would still be together at that time, and I had baby number 2 who I managed to successfully breastfeed, make my own baby food, cloth diapered for a time, receive the title Mother Earth by my fam because I had learned so much, coming out of an awful depression, changing life around!!! These were my successes!!! They didn’t look like the worlds, I didn’t go to college and get a degree, I didn’t have a big beautiful house, fancy furniture, a luxury vehicle…my dream of being the “go-to/soccer mom” type hadn’t kicked in. The years rolled on…Jaeana came into the picture, Camron started pre-school then Kindergarten. One neighborhood, not in eyes view of the school but in walking distance seemed to be my answer. I was friends with the neighbors, the kids played outside together, we were renting but planning to buy it in the next year, then CRUSH!!!!! We get a foreclosure and auction notice on our garage and that is that! The owners took our money and didn’t pay the rent with it and now were out of luck…it’s been one house after the next. First a grand 6+bedroom with 3 masters, 5 bathrooms, a mini-putt putt course and pool in the backyard…lovely just very expensive and very large. I love large and life was seeming well off with Jerry’s business but then life changed yet again and downsizing was in our future, and now here we are, the end of 2010 in an apartment…poopshnickles!!!!!

HOWEVER….all is not lost…THANKfulness is still to be had. I have a TRUCK…kind of like I have a dream….hehehe! I have a truck and I made it into the club of “mom’s/family’s with trucks”…yeah it’s a club. Haha! I looked proudly at the truck I waited for and I was just THANKFUL….God knows my desires and although He doesn’t hit everyone of them, He hits the important ones on His time…the ones that are according to His will and that life is better than any dream of what I think I want in life. His ways are not my ways, they are Better and for that, for Him, I AM THANKFUL!!!!

This is my story, this is my song…..well one of them…hahaha!

This has been a message brought to you by ChristinaCafe….live life, live life for Him!! J

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVE!!

A piece or something...

I was reading in Habakkuk and I came across the end of this verse. All of what I was reading was hitting me as I felt the Holy Spirit stirring in me, but when I saw this I knew it was time to write and study and dwell. Hab. 1:11  "...whose own power is their god." Now, please do not forsake the context of this passage as a whole but follow me for a minute into the reflection of our own lives. 


How real is this statement? Many of us know of the Ten Commandments, you know the one that says, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me," yeah that one! Well, how often do we view power as a god? I mean if we actually dig deep, we don't really think about things in our lives being considered a god before God. Ok, maybe YOU do, but at the forefront of your mind are you looking at your cellphone as a god? What about your TV? What about those desserts you indulge on um daily....lol!? Is that a god? What about regular food? You need to eat right, but could that possibly be a god before God in your life? So many things that are a vital part of our daily routine, our daily mantra, the way society functions. How many of those things could possibly be or have been at some time a "god before God"? 


I want you to really ask yourself this because I am and I do. Everyone has something that takes priority in their life. You know like waking up in the morning to turn off your alarm on your phone and seeing a FB message so checking it. What about God first? Or driving to work in the morning jamming to whatever station or CD you popped in that is not bringing you closer to God, is that lost time that could be given to Him? What about just taking a much needed break and flipping through the channels on the Tele? Many of these things can be pointed to ELECTRONICS...dun dun dun....the way, the only way our world functions at this time. We feel naked without our phones in hand, maybe lost or confused. We may even decide to be late somewhere just to turn back around to get it...hmmmm!


I went a bit off course but my mind is turning, turning, thinking...


So many things lead us on a path involving ourselves and not really God centered. I'm not saying these things are wrong, become isolated from all of it and sit in the closet praying 24/7. What I am saying is that how easily we are plugged into the technology source of power and how little we are plugged into THE SOURCE!!


If we are somewhat disconnected or running low on battery life....or better yet running solely on the battery and not taking the time to recharge then isn't it easy to maybe depend on our own power or think that it's our own power? Here we are sometimes, thinking we are fully charged, feeling on top of the world, all the while we have taken away the glory, the shinning light, the focus on God and put it on ourselves, even accidentally. Good intentions don't always count. 


We are to run on God's power and give Him the full glory for it. Otherwise we become like King Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel. We begin to praise our accomplishments, rightly so, we did a great job, then we find ourselves looking at ourselves, crying when we have failed, exalting our work when we have succeeded, the focus has drifted away into the wind like a seed from a flower on a windy day. 


It's a bold statement...it's true and whether you believe it or not you have all been guilty of it at some point. I love God with all of me, but our HUMAN love lacks and forgets and needs forgiven when we slip up. You may not be a dirty sinner, but we can all learn to put more attention and focus back on THE SOURCE and credit Him ALL the glory because without Him we are NOTHING. From the dust we came and to the dust we return.




Ok that's my piece for the night...I bid you all adu....

To Dream, To Live...

Europe...the place I so desire to see...seems so far out of reach but yet I must keep living out my dream by turning it into a reality. I don't know what the draw is but the more time goes on, the more I crave it. I want to experience all the beautiful culture, history, art, architecture, every detail of it. I want to see the most exquisite to the lowest street corner. I must! The more I see and hear the more I ask God why? I desire to see but also offer up my heart of worship, my voice, not necessarily in song but the voice of God flowing through me through the many waya He uses me.

I have been playing a Scrabble like game on my phone called WordFeud and I get to play with random people. Now I know the people could be from anywhere all around the world but I just have been playing the game not thinking about the whereabouts of the players. I have had a chat or 2 with some of the players, but only along the lines of "good game" or "you too". Today I see a chat post from a player mid game and she says, "I live in France, where did you live?" I enjoy the cultural grammar differences knowing in my school age studies of language that the English language has the most difficult grammar rules in comparison to learning any other language. It made me smile and think Ok Lord what are you up to! So of course I took an opportunity to converse and shared how I have always wanted to visit France and how my hubby is part French. She was very encouraging telling me I could definitely do it. I shared my goal of being in Europe by 2012. She gave me her email which I admit was a little odd but ah well at most I have made a possible penpal of sorts. I shared that I trust in God to Make my dream a reality so I see an open door. Maybe another game, maybe another chat...I'm not naive and am aware of creepy people online but it made me smile as it was totally random to me. Then the kickoff...a friend, fellow worship leader named Joel just posted FB pics of his trip to Europe and aaaaaahhhhh did my stomach began to tickle and I felt a rush of I need to get there...

I'm not sure where my intense desire came from but I really believe God planted it in me and has a plan. I desire more to follow in His plan and I would think if I have such a desire and dream for it then surely He has something in mind.

Anyhooooo, thought I'd share. I was kind of exploding and now I am good for now! Ha!

Until next time...
Christina :-)

I feel....

November 17^th 2010

Can I just send you out a word of encouragement tonight/today…I am really feeling something deep down in my spirit and it’s welling up inside. I can hardly contain it and I just want to explode, with excitement, with joy, with Trust in God’s work in my life, with God’s perfect plan, with God’s faithfulness to fulfill His promises. I am just a bubbling pot on the brink of catapulting myself over the sides and onto the surface.

It all started with today. I have been in desperate need of some much needed, deprived in my life, kind of rest. I kept telling everyone that all I wanted for my birthday was to SLEEP! Why would no one take me seriously? I really just needed to sleep. Well, God with all His Greatness, always provides a way of escape when everything begins to become too much for us to bear. Now I have been leaning on Him and learning to trust Him in new ways, still pushing, not giving up, but sometimes struggling to hold on. Today didn’t feel like an overwhelming day, in fact it was pretty ordinary and I went about my daily routine of getting the kids up and ready to start their day. We were running a tad bit late which always leaves room for disaster, however no such negativity existed. I came home and tried to think of how I wanted to start this day, because for me after the kids go to school is when the day starts. It’s when I make decisions based off of what my own schedule will look like, what things I need to get accomplished, etc. I have had much to do and have not been as successful as I would have liked to be in completing some tasks. Somehow I ended up back in bed and that brought on a super sense of sleepiness which began to easily overtake me. I was succumbing to it and the more I allowed it, invited it in, and entertained the idea of going back to sleep for a little bit, the more I was making the decision with each heavy eye blink. I decided against going to work with Jerry and to just stay home with my own unspoken agenda of going back to sleep for a bit.

Let me just say that I have one amazing husband. He took Cedric with him for the day and I was able to SLEEP!!! (For those unaware, which is probably most of you, Cedric is being homeschooled now. We are still completing the process of paperwork for his online schooling but that is our new life and we are settling into it rather nicely!) So anyhooooo, I totally slept the rest of the morning! I did not wake up until 12pm-ish once my phone started ringing. Finally by 1pm I was moving around like a person, but feeling so extremely refreshed. Due to some scheduling issues I ended up having to walk to get my kids but for some reason it didn’t bother me. I embraced it, as it was such a lovely day and I had been privileged with a day of rest. My bro-in-law had taken the day off and so he picked me and the kids up and dropped us off. (my niece goes to school with Camron and Jaeana). So no worries about the kids reaction the walk home, and that left us with more time. We did homework and then Jae rode her new birthday bike outside for a bit, where I was welcomed by my hubby with a delicious meal. I was craving a salad with grilled chicken. Did you know Boston Market made salads? Well I didn’t and it was DIVINE!!!! Just what I needed. Then later Jaeana and I made dinner for everyone. She helped cook everything and even named the new dish. We made elbow macaroni noodles and dressed them with a diced tomatoes sauce, smoked sausages, corn, and shredded parmesan cheese. She titled this dish, “Speghetti La La La” and the kids loved it. It was kinda spaghetti and kinda warm pasta salad. So on went my night of getting the kids showered and settled, cleaning up the house, studying my music for Wednesday’s practices, and going back and forth on my Word Feud scrabble phone game with random people. I just kept thinking, Wow, I haven’t been this happy in a while. I have been grouchy and stressed and trying to push past it but failing miserably!

This brings me to the intensity of what I am feeling. Have you ever felt like you were on the cusp of something so large and grand beyond what you could really think about and just know God is about to open up the heavens and pour out upon You straight from His hands? I have been feeling this but the stresses of unpaid bills, financial struggles, needs and wants, LIFE, has been playing tug o war with my knowing of God’s plan. We so underestimate God’s ability to be sovereign and just and faithful in our lives, moving mountains and oceans and making room for us to walk freely on dry land. God is keeping us and covering us and just when we feel we are going to snap, He comes in and scoops us up and shows us that everything is going to be alright, keep pushing, keep trusting, keep moving forward toward the prize. His gentle and powerful voice is so calming and soothing and just what we need to hear to help us keep going. It gives us the fuel to push forward and it’s amazing! I just love how God cover us.

“Let the Light of Your face, shine down upon my heart, and let me feel it….” Ahhh God just to be “…surrounded by Your presence, what will my heart feel, will I dance for You Jesus, or will the awe in me be still, will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall, will I sing Halleluia will I be able to speak at all I can only imagine…” Because “Jesus I’m desperate, for You, Jesus I’m hungry for You, Jesus I’m longing for You, cause Lord You are, all I want!!!”

Let my heart sing and dance for You Lord!!! Stir up a new song in me Holy Spirit that I might outpour upon the people, upon Your land. Let me spill out as the bubbling pot I am. Let me spill out and let Your spirit in me shine brighter than any star. Thank You Lord for Your refreshing, renewing, life giving spirit that fills me Joy and turn my weeping into gladness.

I want to encourage you all to keep pushing, keep pressing, keep moving forward…the time is NIGH and God is about to release upon His people, upon those that have diligent sought after Him and are still pressing forward, trusting in His faithfulness. Let Your example prove He is God and God alone!!!

Until another time folks…

Loves and Hugs,

Christina

Compassionate or Compassion-less...

November 8, 2010

Compassionate OR Compassionless…

I have the hardest struggle with my emotions in regards to being compassionate. I get frustrated easily at things that I have a right to be bothered by but not a right to be so bothered by it…does that even make sense? I pour out so much of myself and I push past so much to operate in all that I do that when I hear the excuses of others I get frustrated. I mean seriously, that’s your reason??? Ugh! But somewhere along the line I remind myself that everyone is not and will not be me. They will not give what and how I myself give. They will not pour out how I myself pour out. I also have to remember that not everyone has my call? Actually no one has MY call. My compassion begins to kick back in and then I remember when I was in the position of the other person, or if I was in the position of the other person at that time in their life. I don’t want to be judged for the limits I have that overwhelm me, or push me to step away, or cause me to regress, or just hit my breaking point. Once I change my stinky mind into this more rational and more righteous, more compassionate mindset, I feel the frustration leave and I can move on about my business much lighter than the moment before. Like a really good poop! (I think I use this phrase often, but it’s what comes to mind for a comparison). The real issue that proves more important than what people do or don’t do,  is what I do or don’t do. I have to nip this frustration thing in the booty!!! It controls too much of my life, and I would love to say uninvited but I guess I kind of invite it.

As I peer closely into myself, inspecting every nook and cranny, I find my time with God has decreased and it was giving more room to my flesh. Ugh! Why must I continue this flesh cycle…so annoying! It only takes one thing, like tiredness to throw it all off!!! You miss some needed time and then you can’t seem to make time for the important things, like GOD!!!

Just stay focused, just stay focused, what do we do, we fooooooooo-cus! (sung to the tune of Dory from Nemo singing “Just keep swimming…”)

It’s easy to become Melancholy and pull away to myself, but well I don’t really have many of those opportunities in my life at this point. So tough up Chris!!!! LOL! Hehehe!

Way too long...not length, time!

Oh my goodness...it's ridiculous how long it has been since I have had a post. Have you all forgotten about me...LOL! Eeeesh! Well here is blog I created on November 3rd...figured I would start there and then I need to do MUCH BETTER from now on. Enjoy...

Luke 24:36 “And as they thus spake, Jesus himself

stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.”

As I opened up my esword this morning the book of Luke was opened. I scrimmaged through just wanting to see what I had been reading last before I moved on in my Bible Time. As I looked at verse 36, it popped out at me. I read some of the commentary to see what it meant by the words. Have you ever looked at a particular word(s) or phrase in a sentence and wonder why it was worded that way? I do all the time and it leads me to some powerful revelation within God’s word. Mmmmm, kind of like finding your favorite piece of chocolate in a bowl full of assorted candy, if you like chocolate. Lol!

So, I read this verse over a few times and read around it as well. I was stuck on the part where it says, “And as they spake,” It is the first line in this verse and although the power seems to be in the next line I was still drawn back to the beginning. “Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.” Jesus, when He speaks is so gentle yet so authoritative. He is so powerful yet so covering. He is the Ultimate balance in every way. He enters a room suddenly, standing in our midst, and says, Peace be unto you. Can you feel that power? Ahhh! Well still I’m drawn back to the beginning, “And as they thus spake,”

I think of how easily we allow ourselves to become consumed by this temporary place, called earth, and all that’s in it. We are going, going, going, and for what? I was imagining a few different images as I read this line. One was of a group of people standing and talking about life, circumstances, situations, instances, happenings…Life, being blinded to all else around them until, suddenly Jesus appeared in their midst, in the center of their talking. Another image I saw was just one person, standing in the middle of their own life. The things in it seemed tangible and seemed to be slowly closing in around them. They were talking about what they were seeing, focusing on different areas of what was around them, failing to realize that all of a sudden here was Jesus standing next to them.

Jesus is always there, Joshua 1:9 “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” Jesus is with us and He has given us a precious gift, Peace. With Jesus in our midst we are promised peace. John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” We MUST remember who is with us. We must know that He dwells and abides IN us and that He is in the midst of us. If He abides IN us then it’s like He is in the middle of us…the middle of our lives, the middle of our circumstance, the middle of our problems, the middle of everything we are, why then should we be afraid? Why then should we become consumed by the things of this world when we are not even of this world? Jesus came to the earth to fulfill a purpose, to bring us into Him! He was not and is not OF this world but only was here temporarily. So the same is for us, who are IN Him. We are here temporary until He comes here once again and brings us into that eternal life with Him. We live In HIM, not in this place we see before us. Trust not in your eyes, the eyes of your flesh, but see with the eyes of your spirit, as His Spirit dwells within you.

MMMMmmmmm…just a daily dose today! Hope you enjoyed it and I hope it sparked something in you to dig into God’s word and find your fav piece of chocolate in the bowl of assorted candies.

LOVES & HUGS,

Christina