Interesting...

I find it fascinating that I have been at a loss for words this week. I keep trying to write but I can't seem to put to words what I'm thinking and feeling. This is normal though. My mind may not turn off but to articulate or organize outside of my head what's going on in there is not always so easy. Sometimes I NEED to get it out to keep from going crazy but I can do nothing to change it. It comes out when it's time. It's like a good poop....yes I just said that...you can't force it out when it's not ready because all you will be doing is pushing with no result or an unfulfilled one anyways. However, if you just wait, it all comes out leaving with a good, SIGH of completion! I just sighed right now after I wrote that...haha!

Ok, so maybe I should forewarn that this is uncensored, raw, straight from my mind to the keyboard. Well maybe I don't say EVERYTHING on my mind but I am a pretty open person. Growing up people always thought I was stuck up because I was quiet I guess. I'm not really sure why because I am far from stuck up....even Jerry my hubby thought that of me before getting to know me...so rude but whatever! So, I am quiet because I am melancholy, but when I have something to say and feel comfortable saying it then the novels begin to pour out and then people probably want me to shut up. The moral of the story is, don't complain about me being quiet because you might just get an overloaded earful of the outpouring of my thoughts.

I am hoping that by using my blog as an outlet, alongside the multiple other writings I do, that I won't talk to sleep all of my fam and friends. Sadly, I do tend to put people to sleep after awhile (hours of conversation) and I refuse to accept that my voice is lulling...but it's all good because I have awesomazing conversations with people all the time. I hid behind my voice so long from insecurity of being rejected and now I know the purpose for my "Voice" and I am not afraid to let it come out when it is supposed to.

Not all of these entries will be so scattered...I do get good word or revelation or insight or whatever on many things. BUT it does feel good to empty out my brain a little.

I have been practicing like crazy just in these 2 days this week. I have 2 new songs for Friday night at Youth plus one more I am doing that is going with the message of the speaker. Then I have 3 new songs for the main worship team for Sunday. I actually need to be ready tomorrow so that hasn't left much time. This is the first week where I have to work super hard for both worship teams. Usually we are doing songs I already know or mostly know in both or at least in one. Ok, so I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!!!

Random switch of topic...Cedg my oldest has AIMS testing (boo) this week BUT he has NO HOMEWORK which is making my week super great!!! Tonight it usually MY NIGHT to do whatever I want at home. Jerry has his faithful, never breaking even if I'm sick, "Guys Night" every Tuesday. Often times he will just leave to work and then stay gone until after his hang time. Sometimes it makes me sad because I miss him and very much enjoy time with him but at the same time I am so glad he has the opportunity to get some "HIM" time. It makes for a pleasant hubby! He carries a big load of responsibility as the working one in our fam. Being a SAHM has its advantages and sacrifices. I get ME time on Tuesday night and the kids just hang out and have their own down time and tv time before bed. I try and enjoy some fav foods I like and then watch my shows LOST and V or do my homework or read a book or practice my music or write the newsletter or something I decide I want to do. Then when I can I get friend hang time, mom hang time, sis hang time, or date night hang time. I may be a SAHM but I also have many duties. My plate is very full and God keeps adding to it. I find myself constantly have to rearrange all I carry so that I don't drop it all. Well, what I mean by that is I see myself carrying all these let's say groceries and I am running or walking, making my way to the finish line of completion. As I am moving forward more is being added to what I am carrying and in order not to drop it all I must rearrange how I am holding it. I can't stop going forward, I can't put any of the things down, and I must finish the race and reach my destination. I am ok with it because it is God but it definitely takes some work. I am the busiest I have ever been in my life but it's the best busy I could ever be.

So, I guess for now I will stop because I don't want to bore anyone with the length of my writing. But simply put it is My Life Written!

God bless and have a empowering, filled with joy kinda week...until the next time...which could be anytime...even later tonight, probably not but it's possible...but probably not...in case I just have to share something and can't wait. Ok,....Bye!

Loves and Hugs,
Christina